First Week A Success

Well, if I do say so myself, my first week of working out again has been a complete success. I've got the sore muscles and the extra energy to prove it :)

Brandy set up an awesome calendar for us to keep track of our workouts on, to help motivate one another. It's a google doc shared between us so we can both use it and both view it. I have never tracked my workouts this way before, and so far I'm really liking it. When I used to track what I did, all I cared about was minutes of exercise and calories burned. It was all about the weight loss. Now my priorities have changed. What I care about now is getting stronger, healthier, and being able to DO more. Well I have seen in just this one week a big improvement! Here are the days I worked out this week:


Monday 12/15:

9 laps track - 20 mins
15 mins Elliptical
Hills Level 1
15 mins ARC
Hills Intrvl Level 1
2 cooldown laps
TOTAL 55 mins

Wednesday 12/17:

1 mile track - 22mins
(11 laps)
20 mins ARC
Hill Intrvl Level 1
15 Mins Elliptical
Hills Level 1
TOTAL 57 mins

Thursday 12/18:

30 mins strength
training & stretches
15 mins treadmill
2.5-3.0 mph

Saturday 12/20:

1 mile track - 20 mins
(11 laps)
20 mins ARC
Hills Intrvl Level 1
20 mins TrueFit
Elliptical, Hills
TOTAL 60 mins

Firstly, I have to pat myself on the back for already doing a strength training day on Thursday. I wasn't going to even think about starting that until the week after Christmas. However, Ian and I had a talk that day and he was wanting to start getting some activity as well, so I went with him that night. I am STILL very very sore from the stuff I did that night! I did some things with hand weights that have me very sore, as well as doing squats with an exercise ball like this:




Let me tell ya.... OW. It huuurt. But surprisingly my legs aren't sore anymore, even despite working out again today, but my arms still are! I guess because I use them less than my legs on a daily basis.

What I am truly amazed and happy to see is that my cardio has made drastic improvement in only 3 sessions. My mile time went down from about 24 mins (have to guess as it was split up the first time because I couldn't COMPELTE the mile in one shot! ha!) to 22 minutes, to 20 minutes today. The first day I did 15 mins & 15 mins on Arc and Elliptical, then 20 & 15 the second time, and 20 & 20 today. I can only imagine where I will be in a month.

This is what it's all about... getting healthier and stronger. I feel so good about this and also I'm so happy that Ian is joining in. He went with my dad and I today, too!

Plus - I have to tell you how good this felt. When I got done today I walked out to the lobby and my dad and Ian were both sitting there, looking like they had been waiting quite a while... and they had! Like 15 minutes! It felt good to outwork the men :)

Much, MUCH Better

My workout today felt MUCH better than the one on Monday did! I can't believe what a drastic difference I felt on only my second time. My lungs feel a bit tired but they didn't hurt at all, whereas on Monday they really HURT. The pain in the instep of my left foot was MUCH less today as I walked around the track, and wasn't bothering me after the workout, whereas on Monday it hurt very badly the whole day.
Today I did 1 mile around the track in 22 mins... just slightly quicker than Monday but at least it's something. Then I did 20 minutes on the ARC trainer on hills intervals level 1. Then I did 15 minutes on the lifefitness elliptical, hills level 1. Finished off with a couple cooldown laps around the track and some stretching. It felt really good actually!!! I was tired, but I was able to push through it quite a bit easier than Monday. It gave me hope again, feeling like... in a month, how great will I feel??? That's what I care about!
I was talking to my dad about how in a couple of weeks I want to start using Tuesday and Thursday for strength & flexibility training at the other facility. He said he would like to try that out with me as well. That made me very happy, because I will have more accountability to go if he goes, and also because I'm happy he wants to take another step forward with his health and fitness!!!
I had lunch today with Melissa (sis in law) and if she gets offered the part time position she applied for, and we can work around her schedule, she said she'd like to do some of this working out with me too. That would be cool, but I'll try not to count on it, because that doesn't work out too well for me.
One good thing about my dad for accountability.... it's still really relying on myself. I feel more compelled to go because he's going, but he really doesn't say anything if I don't go. I could easily make an excuse and he would say nothing. So I am still learning to make the commitment on my OWN, which is something I need to do. I am done expecting someone else to nag me, urge me, whatever. I need to learn to make that commitment and follow through on it.
Anyway... I am happy to feel such an improvement today. I've been super busy today and have actually had a lot of energy to carry me through the day, which feels really good too!

Back to the Gym

I finally made it to the gym today. I am barely hanging on by a thread to the whole working out thing. I think it's been like 2 weeks since I last went. True, I had to wait for my heel to get better. It still hurts to the touch and hurts to have my sneaker against it, but I am using corn cushions with bandaids over them to cushion it, and with that I was able to make it today.

On one hand, I feel great about my workout today. I walked 20 minutes on the track, did 15 minutes on the elliptical (hill mode), and 15 minutes on the arc trainer (hill intervals), and then a couple more laps around the track to cool down. Nearly an hour altogether which is good for not exercising regularly. I remembered today how much I love that dang arc trainer!

On the other hand though, I couldn't help feeling a bit down about how much my fitness level has changed. Just a couple months ago when I was working out with Brandy I could do a lot more. And when I think back to the days when I was near my lowest weight, in the 240's, I could pretty much kick ass at the gym. Nowhere near my ultimate fitness goals, but compared to today, a very drastic change.

I am sad to say that in the 20 minutes I was on the track, I did 9 laps. That's 2 laps short of a mile. In 20 minutes I didn't even make it a mile. And I was going as fast as I could!!!! That was disappointing to me as I could easily walk 3 miles in 40 minutes before. I also had a pretty hard time on the machines. Everything I do now is riddled with aches and pains, and affected by a smaller lung capacity.

I can't let this give me a negative attitude because there is no room for that. What I did today is a step toward making this BETTER, so I feel very good about that.

Brandy and I had a talk this morning about how our plan of working out together really hasn't been... well... working out! Haha. Her life is much more complicated than mine since she works and has two kids to take care of. It is hard for her to control when things happen and make it there at appointed times. And I have a tendency to rely on these plans and then when they don't happen, I don't go on my own. Part of that is because we plan to work out at 3 or 4 pm, when my energy is lower anyway, and it's too easy to just feel too tired. The other part is I will take any excuse. Ha.

So for now Brandy and I are going to support one another in separate workout efforts... we're trying to set up a google document we can share, like a spreadsheet, to track our workouts, make goals, and keep one another accountable. And maybe in the future we can try working out together again, when we are stronger about sticking to it on our own if plans change.

For now I am going to commit to working out with my dad 3 days per week. Since he's done with his cardio rehab and is on his own, he is sticking to his schedule of 3 days per week, an hour each. It's already a habit for him since he's been doing the rehab since August. He likes to go in the morning, 9-10am, which works much better for me because that is when I have energy and that is when I like to do it and get it out of the way for the day.

I plan to do these 3 days a week with him this week and through christmas next week, and then starting the week after that I would like to add in two days a week of strength & flexibility training. I think I've mentioned this before, but the swim & fitness center near my house has an awesome room for this. They turned one of their raquetball courts into a room just for strength & flexibility stuff. In case I've never posted pics before, here they are:

So anyway, the hope is that by the beginning of January, I'll be working out 5 days a week - 3 cardio, 2 strength training days. Of course the timing sucks as that will be in the midst of all the new years resolutionists, and the gym will be really crowded all the time for a month or two. Oh well. I'll deal. :)

As for Ian... he is on his own. Again, the plan to work out when he gets home is hard for me to stick with because if he says he doesn't feel like it, there's no way I'm doing it on my own at 7pm. Therefore anytime he doesn't do it, I don't do it. He is just going to have to make his own decision to get active. I hope that if he sees me making progress and hears me talking about it all the time, he'll make the effort. I believe in him :)

I'm just tired of sitting around making excuses... time for me to make this happen and start FEELING better!

Wow... Accomplishments!

First things first - Ian is home!!! Yay I am so happy. Four days without him was sad and lonely.

I have been SO freaking busy while he was gone. You know everything I said I was going to do - well - I did ALL of it. For once I got off my lazy butt and accomplished a LOT of stuff around our house.

- Cleared out the 2nd bedroom of all my junk, got rid of some things, and stored things neatly in the basement bedroom.

- Cleared away 5-6 boxes of stuff that have perpetually been hanging around our dining room for months and months. This incliuded clearing out a kitchen cabinet to make space for my collection of mugs, and putting a bunch of stuff downstairs for ebay.

- Made several trips to Goodwill with a ton of boxes Ian had downstairs that he pulled out of that extra bedroom to make space for me. Also took most of the huge "trash" pile from that some project out on trash day.

- Finally cleared off all of our dressers and furniture in the bedroom, that had a ton of random stuff on top of them that had been there since we began painting our bathroom quite a while ago.

- Did a ton of laundry, because I found so many clothes buried under stuff in the room as I cleared it out.

- Cleared out and organized my entire closet. Donated some stuff, separated out some too-small stuff that I wanted to keep for later, got my shoes organized and all my drawers too. Even organized my tops a tiny bit, they were a complete jumble. Check it out, all spiffy:







Whew, that felt good. Not to mention you can now see the FLOOR in that room. We just need to get rid of all the furniture now, and Ian needs to go through his stuff that was in there.

So yeah - I feel very accomplished. I am now doing laundry AGAIN since Ian is home and he has off today. We also hope to get that furniture out of that room this weekend. AND tomorrow our dining room table is getting delivered! That should be fun.

One thing that kinda sucks is I slipped on some ice on Wednesday night. I didn't fall, but oh man did I pull some muscles!!!!!

I was heading to Cori's apartment - Kellie and I were both going there for dinner. I had my arms FULL of stuff that I'd been meaning to bring to each of them for a while... both of their bridesmaid dresses, a bag full of paper scraps for Cori, some scrapbook prints for Kellie, a scrapbook organizer for Kellie, a 2-liter soda I was bringing to have with dinner, and my purse. So my arms were full and out in front of me and I couldn't really see below me. I am still wearing Crocs because of hurting my heel, and they have no traction at all. So I didn't see this huge ice patch and I slipped SO fast and hard. I did the splits practically, but SOMEHOW managed to save myself from falling. As soon as I got upstairs I called Kellie to warn her, since I knew she would only be a few minutes behind me. I thought I was fine.

Well, I'm not fine. I pulled like 80 muscles. I didn't even know until halfway through yesterday my left ankle and left hip started hurting. It got worse and worse through the day. I thought it was just from all the work I have been doing around the house. But when Ian got home and I told him the story, while re-enacting it... it was a light bulb moment. OH THAT IS WHY THIS ALL HURTS!!!! I could feel it pulling when I acted it out. Well I barely slept last night because everything was aching so bad (even though I took medicine)... and through the night new things kept starting to hurt. Today my arches of my feet, ankles, calves, hips, middle lower back, middle upper back, biceps,and shoulders ALL HURT! I mean holy cow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I must have so quickly and severely tensed up all my muscles to keep from falling, that now everything is sore. Of course I am grateful that I was not flat on my face on the pavement with my stuff everywhere. In my mind I saw that happening, LOL... amazing how quickly we can imagine something. So at least I'm not all cut up and bruised. And I know in a day or two my muscles will calm down... but WOW. Especially my hip area, that is the worst part. I am so totally drugged up and it's barely making a dent in any of the pain!

Anyway sorry I haven't been blogging, but that is why. I've been soooo busy. Today and this weekend will probably follow suit, but I'll see if I have time for any more blogging.

I'm getting a new blog theme for my blog soon - made by one of my favorite digital scrapbook designers, Shabby Miss Jenn. I have made some customizations to it, but I need a professional to install it for me because wordpress is harder than blogger to customize. She has to make the whole theme and then I can put it up. I am so excited about it though because it's fun colors and will look like a scrapbook!!!!! Hopefully next week I'll be able to reveal it :)

Also - I am so excited about this cute thing on Etsy... this girl makes customized felt pictures of your house, with whatever details you want like trees, flowers, pets, etc. How cute would that be!!!!



Click the photo if you want to be taken to the Etsy page and see it. It's $55 so kind of pricey but I think it's so cute and unique. It would make a nice keepsake since the house we live in now is both Ian's first home, and our first home together. I thought it would be cute if we had her put a little black cat in the window with a little pink heart, just like Phoebe :) We'd have our last name at the top, but where this example shows est. 2003, I think we'd put our house number.

Ok I have babbled on enough. :)

Exercise & Lunch

I worked out yesterday, finally! Yeah! I was feeling pretty sick to my stomach all morning, so I really had to push myself to go. Now that my dad has finished rehab which was 1 hour of exercise 3 times per week, he has to do it on his own, so we went together yesterday. I was a little concerned that he only did 35 minutes when he has been doing an hour every time. He said he was being cautious since it was his first time. But I argued, you've been doing 1 hour 3x per week for 3 months! But I guess he was a little worried since he's no longer hooked up to electrodes that monitor him and he wanted to make sure he didn't push too hard. That's fine but I hope it's not an excuse. He is doing so well and I want him to stay that way, nice and healthy.

Of course I don't have much room to talk because I am nothing but a bucket of excuses myself. Yesterday although I felt sick, I did go. I walked around the track for 15 mins and my back and feet were screaming at me so then I got on the arc trainer and did 20 minutes there. So 35 mins total, but, I was proud of that. Even with the fact that the rubber part of one of my earphones came off and it hurt my ear.
Today, though, despite waking up and saying "no excuses", I didn't go. I do HAVE an excuse, of course. Last night I only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Ian is still sick and for some reason last night he was louder than any other night during his illness... if he was slightly awake, he was coughing loudly almost continuously. When asleep he was either snoring very loudly or making these very upset/sad-sounding moans and groans. There was seriously not a moment of silence. So I did not get any sleep until he got up at 7:30 am and then I slept until 10:00am. Normally I would have slept longer, but I had plans to get together with my soon to be sister-in-law for lunch at 11:30 so I had to get going to that. Lunch with her was great by the way and I'll get back to that in just a moment.

The whole reason for an early lunch at 11:30 is that all day I was planning to work out with Brandy and/or my dad at 3:15. But when she had to cancel, even though I could have gone with my dad, I bailed. I was just feeling SO very tired. And I knew I couldn't just relax all night because I told Kellie I would come over to her place (where I am now) and be here for moral support while she bangs her head against the wall working on a school project :)

Anyway, I am disappointed in myself for skipping today but at the same time, Intuitive Eating tells me that I shouldn't push my body when I honestly don't have the energy. And I would like to think that was the case today. I am planning to go tomorrow and Friday as well. We shall see.

Now about that lunch with Melissa. We had a very nice time!!! I was a little bit nervous because we have never spent any time together one-on-one before. We have always gotten along well at family functions... we have occasionally talked on the phone when her and Ian were already talking...and we have kept in touch through email while she was living in Arizona. But we haven't had the opportunity to do anything together or just sit and talk. I was feeling nervous because I so badly want this to work out. She is kind of my only chance to have a sibling.
Well, I had nothing to worry about :) I didn't feel awkward at all. She hugged me when she arrived which surprised me because I was already sitting at the table and she hugged me while I was sitting, so she really went out of her way for that one. We had a lot to talk about which was nice, and afterward talked about getting together soon for a coffee at Starbucks since it's been so cold, or maybe seeing a movie soon.

In other news, I've had a couple of good talks with my best friend Sarah in the past week. I really hadn't heard from her much for 2 weeks after my visit out to see her... she had been feeling down and had a lot on her plate. I am glad she's doing better now and that we've had a couple of very nice talks. I love her to pieces!!!!! And I hope she moves back here someday.

Lungs Are Important.

Well you haven't heard from me much lately because I've been totally wiped out. Ian's dad was ripping out the shower stall in our downstairs bathroom, and there turned out to be more mold there. It must have really gotten into the air. Tuesday I was so achey and tired all day. I didn't think a whole lot of it, I thought maybe I was coming down with something. Yesterday when I woke up, I couldn't take deep breaths without my lungs hurting. Throughout the day it got worse and worse until it felt like my lungs were on fire all the time. I was just miserable! I slept for about 4 hours in the middle of the day but still felt awful after. That's when Ian said you know what, it's probably the mold! I honestly hadn't even thought about it, but I am allergic to mold so that would explain me having that reaction.

I opened some windows which wasn't pleasant because it turned cold yesterday and was only about 40 degrees. It really did help though and within a couple of hours my lungs were hurting much less. Ian bleached the mold when he got home and we left the windows open a bit longer, and I was feeling better.

Today my lungs still hurt with deep breaths but it is MUCH better. I think they are just recovering now.

It's so weird, it made my lung capacity so much less. Everything makes me out of breath the past couple days. It's getting better now but man that was weird. It was like gainin 100 pounds overnight or something. So uncomfortable!!! I'm so glad I'm starting to get better, this has NOT been fun.

I Cooked! Skillet Lasagna

Tonight I made a skillet lasagna! Thanks to my friend Cori for a yummy recipe. Since my oven doesn't do much, a skillet lasagna was a perfect recipe for me. I also did some garlic breadsticks and a yummy salad with basil-ranch salad dressing. Mmmm! I have to say it came out quite well! It used those no-boil lasagne noodles and was really easy. I felt good about the fact that I made the meal come out right and it tasted good. With just 2 of us we have enough to eat it for a total of 3 nights - that's what I'm talking about!! I love maxiumum reward for as little work as possible :)

I am really wanting to learn more about cooking and maybe even get to the point where I like it. I just subscribed to this blog - simple daily recipes - and I also asked my dad if he'd like to look for a cooking class we could take together. He was up for it. They're in Texas right now but when they get back we can look into what's out there.

Here is the recipe for skillet lasagna if anyone is interested. I got it from Cori and I don't know if it's from a book or somebody else. Cori let me know if I need to credit somebody! :)

SKILLET LASAGNA (Serves 6-8)

Ingredients:
1 pound ground beef
1 (26 - ounce) jar spaghetti sauce, divided
1 (14 1/2 - ounce) can diced tomatoes, slightly drained (optional)
1 cup ricotta cheese
1 large egg, beaten
1 (9 - ounce) package no-boil lasagna noodles
1 cup shredded mozzarella cheese

*Tip: to ensure that the lasagna noodles cook thoroughly, spread a piece of wax paper over the skillet before topping with the lid. The wax paper prevents any steam from escaping.

Directions:
1. Cook ground beef in a large skillet over medium-high heat, stirring frequently, until browned and crumbly, about 5 minutes; drain well.

2. Add half the jarred spaghetti sauce to ground beef in skillet and mix well. Pour diced tomatoes evenly over ground beef (optional).

3. Combine ricotta and egg in a small bowl and mix well. Spread evenly over tomatoes. Top with a layer of lasagna.

4. Layer the remaining spaghetti sauce and remaining lasagna in the skillet.

5. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat to medium-low. Cook, covered, until lasagna is tender, about 10 minutes. Sprinkle with mozzarella. Cook, covered, for 2 minutes. Serve immediately.

Ian and I decided after eating it that we would have wanted some mozzarella cheese in the bottom layer, too. It would make it gooey-er. LOL. So if you like cheesy, I would suggest that. It was VERY good. Sorry I didn't get a picture! Maybe next time.

Bleh.

I'm feeling so lethargic lately. Part of that is I only worked out last Tuesday and this Tuesday. There's been a lot of snags in the way between Brandy (my workout buddy) having sick kiddos & husband at home this past week, and me having a lot going on, and me being apparently unable to push myself to go alone. Last Tuesday was with Brandy and this Tuesday I walked with Ian.

Now of course i'm being blessed with mother nature's monthly gift... so i have no energy at all. My walk Tuesday was ont he verge of impossible even though I only went for 30 mins. Today I'll at least get activity from all the errands I have to run...take care of the kittens... post office... huge grocery shop. But I think true exercise will be on the backburner until at least Sunday.

I'm really hoping that this coming week when I feel all better and Brandy's family feels all better, I can work out SO much more. Cuz right now all I want is to eat chocolate. :-/

Exercise This Week

I got a good workout on Tuesday - elliptical and track. Yay for Brandy going with me! That's it for this week though so far. Things have just been all over the place. Today won't happen either. The guy to work on the downstairs bathroom will be here shortly, and then I have to go shopping for an interview outfit (get to that in a moment), and then my dad is coming over to do the last bit of painting in the bathroom. He'll probably be here til right before Ian comes home, and Ian and I have massage appointments tonight at 7. So yeah, busy day.

I am hoping to work out with Brandy tomorrow sometime between 2:30-5. Tomorrow night I'll be with Kellie and Cori, spending some time with Kellie before her big trip. She's going on a 2 week trip to 9 countries which she is leaving for on Sunday. We might be sending Waddles with her so he can be even more well-traveled!

Happy Developments

I already wrote about some of this on my other blog, but Friday night we got 3 hours of exercise! We had a huge geocaching extravaganza that was a lot of fun but super exhausting, after having already gone for an hour walk prior to that. Then we went back Saturday morning and walked another 30 minutes or so to finish off. We found the cache right away and then mostly walked around trying to figure out why we were so confused. You can read about it and see pictures here.

Here's why I'm so happy... despite all the complaining and friction, at the end of the week Ian had exercised on 4 days. And 3 of them were with me. That is all I could ever hope for!! So maybe it won't be SO difficult to get him going after all. He did still complain, but he did it, and that's what matters.

Saturday we even got a little bit more exercise - about another half hour of walking when we were finding the geocache and retracing our steps to figure out all the confusion. And of course grocery shopping, which is tough work too :)

I'm planning on working out at the rec center with Brandy today, in about 2 hours. Just 2 days off and I'm feeling antsy! That's a good sign, right?

Yesterday :)

Yesterday was laundry day, which is also the day I try to go the rec center by my parents house. Kellie wasn't able to join me again, as she had schoolwork to do, so it was just me. But guess what... Ian went with me!!!!!!!!! He really didn't want to but he knew he needed to, so instead of my convincing him, he was doing the work of convincing himself. That took a lot of weight off my shoulders. It's nice not to feel like I'm forcing him.

What he did was eat while working (tuesday is work from home day), and then on his hour lunch break we went to the rec center. He walked around the track while I did the arc trainer. I think he walked about a mile or so. I did 35 mins on the arc trainer, intervals level 1. It kicked my butt, in a good way though :) The incline parts were so hard. But it was so nice seeing Ian going around the track as I exercised. He may not have been pushing himself like I was, but he was THERE. That's huge progress because it has been so very long since he exercised. He told me afterward that he wanted to stop after the first couple minutes, and then a few minutes later, and then a few minutes later, lol. His biggest weakness really is his legs. I've said this before but for me, my legs can go forever and it's my (lack of ) cardiovascular endurance that makes me wear out. For him, his legs wear out far before his cardiovascular endurance becomes an issue. But you know he was so tired afterward that on one hand it makes him not want to do it, but of course on the other hand makes him realize that he NEEDS to. I said, now what if this were Italy and you walked for 30 minutes and were too tired to see anything else all day? That would suck! He totally gets it.

I hope we can continue to do this on Tuesdays, and if Kellie can come great and if not I'll have my Ian. And I really want us to get some fitness stuff for the Wii, like the Wii Fit and Dance Revolution and things like that. They are just expensive.

Anyway I felt so happy to have him join me. After he finished work, we had soup and salad at Panera Bread and it really hit the spot! Good food tastes so good when you've worked so hard.

Today I'll be walking with Brandy around 3pm, so looking forward to that. So far she's been really consistent and not cancelled on me except for Sunday, but the weather was terrible (40 degrees, rainy, dark) and her son was really sick.

Pushing

I have to really push myself to work out. I fight and fight myself. Today I wanted to cancel on Brandy up to the last second. BUT... I went. That's what matters right? And we are going tomorrow, too! I feel so good about myself for making the effort.

I really wish my stupid heel wasn't such a problem. Besides my foot pain I still deal with a bit of a bone spur on my heel. I had surgery to remove the bone spur back in 2003 I think, but they didn't do a very thorough job and I still have a bit of a bump that just rubs and rubs against the back of my shoe no matter how tight I tie my shoe. Bandaids come off... does anyone have a good suggestion for this???? Those blister bandaids don't work because they're so thin. For non-protruding things they work but for a protruding bump like this it doesn't stop it from blistering. HELP!

Anyway we had a really good walk. I am chatting online with Brandy now and she has the Wii Fit so I was asking her about it. The only problem is it records your weight and you MUST look at it - and I know myself and know I cannot see my weight right now, at least not in these beginning stages. Maybe later one. Right now I need to focus on exercise for how it benefits me and ignore my weight so that it does not become the point. Brandy and I were talking about that and she's managed to get past that. Here are some great things she said:

"It's just a game, I dont care anymore, I think I got to the point were I went completely crazy about the number and lost it and then came back to reality and realized I didn't care anymore as long as I could go outside and have fun without dying and feel healthy. I dont care I just want to feel good and my weight isn't important because the girls on the cover of magazines are not typical, that is society's image, not mine and my family doesn't care as long as I can have fun with them...so I focus on becoming healthy and feeling good."

This is exactly the point behind Intuitive Eating and rejecting the diet mentality.

I told Ian my feet hurt and he wanted to do something nice for me. I couldn't think of anything. So I told him what would make me happiest is if he went for a walk or got some activity tonight even though his legs are tired from yesterday's walk. And he said he will after dinner tonight! He is being so sweet. I feel so happy :)

Workouts, Leftovers and Renovations.... Oh, My!

I think the engagement photo session went well on Saturday! I can't wait to see the result. Ian wasn't really "into" it because he is feeling so bad about how he looks so he doesn't like being in pictures right now. I don't really have that hangup because my weight has fluctuated so much over the years and I'd feel terrible if I had no photos because of my weight. Although I obviously want to work on myself, I am so not in that self-hate mode anymore like he is. You know this whole body image/ body acceptance things is so geared toward women but men are affected too, like my honey. I hope I can teach him to love himself :)

Still doing pretty good on my workouts. Even Saturday turned out to be some work when we went for our photos! We were in the mountains and had to hike uphill a little several times and I was breathing hard!

Yesterday (Tuesday) was supposed to be my workout day with Kellie, but she ended up going to the zoo with her sister & niece & nephew.. I wasn't mad at her whatsoever,but I knew things would come up and I can't count on a workout partner to be there every time. This is why the more workout buddies I have, the better! So I went over my parents house for laundry day - with Ian (yay! he got his work from home day back!)... and I planned to go to the rec center. I was letting my breakfast settle and planning to go work out before I ate lunch. Then it happened... the laziness set in. I started to rationalize in my head all the reasons why I didn't really have to go. In desperation I asked my dad if he would go with me... but he had already exercised in the morning. I even thought to myself "crap, I bet I won't go now. I suck." Then my dad made a comment about going out to run some errands... and I totally jumped on it. I said "Dad will you drop me off at the gym on your way?" Of course I didn't really need him to take me, but I knew it was the only way I was going to get there. He dropped me off and I told him to pick me up 40 mins later.

I spent 30 mins on the arc trainer, fighting the whole time. These workouts are so hard for me now. They used to be easy! That's what I care about, ya know? Not my weight or how I look, but being able to function well, do these workouts... because that means I can do things in the real world like hike, bike, walk, travel... without it being miserable. After the arc trainer I walked around the track 3 times. Not a huge workout, but it was very good for me.

Today I'm working out with Brandy, going for a walk at 2:30. Hopefully I can last an hour again :) If not that's ok too. My calves are sore from yesterday.

My Ian is gone for 3 days :( He's in Arizona on a business trip. He had to leave at 5:30 am today. I couldn't really fall back asleep because it wasn't warm and snuggly in my bed anymore! So that's why I'm blogging early. I hope I can go back to sleep soon. I'm watching the Biggest Loser which for some reason always makes me hungry! Maybe I just know how little calories they eat :) I just saw an arby's commercial and oh how badly I want a roast beef sandwich! At 7 am! LOL. I think I'll go for my leftover omlette instead.

Which brings me to something else I wanted to talk about... LEFTOVERS! I have noticed lately that leftovers - both from restaurants and from stuff made at home - are piling up in the fridge. I may not eat all of them, and that's ok! What this means is that I am actually doing good with Intuitive Eating again, at least when it comes to listening to my fullness. I didn't really think about it but for a long time now I finished almost everything I ever eat... and if I don't, there's only a tiny bit left, not enough to save. So Ian kind of made the point that hey - there's all these little white boxes and tupperware in the fridge! The last 3 days I've been living off of leftovers. It's pretty awesome to think hey, I am eating that much less. And I don't feel remotely like I'm on a diet or I can't eat certain foods. Just watching the portions and stopping when I'm full.

I really want to do some more fun blog entries with pictures and stuff! I hope tomorrow I'll have some time. Today I have to clean things up in the bathroom and empty out the cabinets that we have to move to paint. After my walk with Brandy, my dad's coming over so we can start working on the ceiling & walls in there. I'm hoping this morning I can go shop for the shower curtain and accessories I want, so I can pick out the paint color. Time to start these renovations! If I'm lucky we can get a lot done today and tomorrow so Ian will come home to a brand new bathroom. I'll take before/after pics :)

Hour Walk

Whew. I just got done doing another hour walk with Brandy. I think it was actually an hour and 20 minutes. It kicked my ASS. Today we walked in my neighborhood, and the streets are so slanted. So we'd go downhill one block and turn around and be going uphill the whole next block. Did you know a block feels like FOREVER when it's super uphill? Even the downhill sides started to feel hard after a while because they used totally different muscles. It works out so well walking with her - she is a little slower than her normal self because she has some knee problems... but it's still a good workout for her. Whereas walking with her really speeds me up. I was really pushing myself and it felt great. I would never go that fast and for that long if I were alone.

It's true I am eating some Haagen-Dazs now :) But it is well deserved and it's helping me cool off, too. Sure is nice not feeling guilty to have ice cream. I know dieters are thinking "you're ruining your workout!" But I don't see it that way. It may have calories but it doesn't take away the good work I did for my cardiovascular system and my muscles. Plus it's yummy and makes me happy :) tee hee.

Here's to happiness and health!

Workout Buddies x2

Well I already planned to work out with my friend Kellie on Tuesdays & Fridays. But I know realistically, it won't always happen. I can go by myself of course, but since I'm just starting to get back into it I really want to try to make "plans" to work out with people because it really helps me stick to it so much better. Once I get in a groove, I can go alone very easily, but still enjoy going with people too. I decided to talk to Ian's friend Brandy about being workout buddies too. (She and her husband Matt have both known Ian a long time, they worked together.) She's a very nice girl, I've been around her several times but just don't know her very well. I do know that she had gastric bypass surgery several years ago. She is actually working hard to maintain her weight loss (so many people don't, and they just gain it back, it seems.) She had another baby a while back and when she stopped breastfeeding she gained 20 pounds, so she wants to lose that weight. She wants to make sure she doesn't ruin all her accomplishments with the surgery!

So I IM'ed her yesterday and asked her about working out. She was so excited that I asked her, because she likes going with a buddy and her husband doesn't like to. So now her and I have plans for Wednesdays and Thursdays! We even went yesterday just a few hours after talking about it - we went to the park and did a ONE HOUR WALK! Whooo hooo!

Walking with her is good - she is more fit/thinner than I am, so she walks a bit faster of course. I pushed myself to keep pace with her. I don't think she was pushing herself much, because she's having trouble right now with her lung capacity. But that worked out well - I was pushing myself, but not beyond my capability. I think we will both speed up as time goes on. I think we went about 3 miles!

We chatted about weight, food, and exercise as we walked and I was THRILLED to discover that she is like-minded to me. No counting calories or watching the scale - just focusing on eating healthfully the majority of the time, not worrying about eating junky food now and then, and focusing on exercise for the purpose of feeling strong and healthy. I am so happy! No offense to anyone out there who weighs regularly or counts calories - I am just way past that working for me anymore. It is damaging to my psyche. And it would be hard for me to work out and chat the whole time with someone who was talking about calories and pounds the whole time. To me that would feel kind of like being a recovering alcoholic and barhopping with a friend who is drinking. It would just be too easy for me to think "maybe I should pull out the scale and just check... so I know if I'm making progress...." or to start reverting back to beating myself up for "bad" food choices, which would lead to me binging.

So yeah, this is awesome. Even when I work out with Kellie it will be fine because she and I just talk about OTHER stuff. She is counting the pounds she loses, and I'm happy for her! But it's just not for me.

So, now I have plans for 4 days a week of exercise. And I'm hoping that if one of them can't make it, I will still go :) Plus, once my dad finishes physical therapy in November, he'll be joining the gym again because he'll need to keep up withhis 3 days a week x 1 hour of exercise. So I would hopefully be able to recruit him if someone else bails, and maybe even go with him an additional day by then.

OTHER STUFF:

Check out our other blog http://ian-and-christie.com to see the new geocaching page I just put up! I know you guys ask about it a lot :)

I'm off to Kellie's... it's a scrapbooking day! Yay! Plus we're going to work out, too!

OMG I Went to the Gym (Edit: And A Note on Quality of Life)

I haven't been to the gym for an actual gym workout in... I don't know how long. A year? I've done things at home, gone for walks, and even done water aerobics... but that whole "me & the machine" vibe hasn't been part of my life for a long time. Yesterday I remembered why I love it... and also why I hate it. LOL. I did just 30 minutes on a "true stride", which is like an elliptical but better. It was hard. Really hard. I was exhausted... but that could have something to do with having only eaten a bagel all day by 4 pm. I just didn't have an appetite.

On the upside, I'm not even sore today even though my legs were SO fatigued afterwards yesterday. Also it was fun being able to watch a movie on my ipod while working out. Made me want to work out for an hour and a half! I just couldn't yet since I'm just starting out.

Right now I am planning to get punch passes to 3 gyms. I still want to be able to go to the swim place by my house when I feel like swimming, because they have the biggest pool. I haven't checked out the westminster center yet but it's where I go outdoor walking anyway, and I bet it's nice - it looks like a huge place. Then the one by my parents house - which is where I went yesterday - seems to have the best workout machines. So I really don't want to commit to a membership anywhere - I want to have my choice of where I feel like going! And of course this time of year it's finally cooling off and I've got a couple months to do stuff outside before it gets too cold.

My friend Kellie is working out too - she has lost 18 pounds in 6 weeks and I'm so proud of her. Unfortunately she doesn't give herself ANY credit because she thinks she could be trying a lot harder. Anyway it's in both our best interests to work out together when we can. Tomorrow is my scrapbooking day with her and we're going to work out first! Yeah!

At least right now I have no plans to weigh myself or worry at all about how much weight I lose from exercising. I just want to feel better. I'll know when my clothes get looser and I can fit into my other jeans :) Someday I might weigh myself, but I prefer not to. Just look at my friend who isn't happy with having lost an average of 3 pounds a week for the last 6 weeks. I do not want to put myself through those mind games. All I care about is sticking to an exercise routine that will make me FEEL good about myself. And of course, pay more attention to what I eat. Haven't done well with that lately. I've been stuffing myself too much again. Gotta work on that.

Update:

A very well-meaning comment was left by my friend Christine and this is in no way meant as anything against her, but I wanted to share her comment here and my response to it.

Her:

I agree about avoiding the scale, it can be depressing. It's a good way to gauge your weight loss though. Maybe grin and bear it, write it down, then stay off the scale for another month? Oh, and don't forget to measure! I was feeling sorta down about my weight loss lately till I measured myself and my chest was 2 inches smaller! No complaints from me!! :)
I'm bad about using my clothes as a measurement since I only wear one size: Big and Baggy!
Go for it!

Me:

Well honestly since reading intuitive eating I don't really have a desire to "measure" my weight loss in any way. When I said that about my clothes I just meant that'll be a clue, it's not like a goal or anything. All I care about is feeling healthy and strong. Honestly.
No scale for me, no measuring... not measuring myself with my clothes either. I just don't care! All I care about is less pain, being able to walk a lot, go hiking, do the things I love to do and be happy. No more torturing myself over my weight or my size, I'm done with that!

I just felt the need to share this because I want it to be clear that weight loss is my goal but the amount does not matter to me. The reason for losing it is for my spine, my joints - less pain - more ability to do the things I love. Because I know at this weight I'm not happy because I am in pain and I'm restricted. But the number is irrelevant and I don't have a number related goal, and I never will again. I'm done with all of that and the pain and self-destruction it causes.

When we travel I want to be able to walk all day and see the sights - sure I'll be tired after like anyone else - but I don't want to be miserable after 3 hours of walking around. I want to enjoy the travel. I also want to go hiking and enjoy the mountains here. Especially with the high altitude (when we hike we're at about 9,000-11,000 ft), the heart has a hard time!! I want to be in better cardiovascular shape so I don't get so out of breath -again with the goal of enjoying myself.

What I am doing here, is trying to improve my quality of life. If that happens and I'm 270 pounds, fine. If I'm 240 lbs, fine. Less, great. But the best would be not knowing the pounds and not caring. THAT is quality of life.