One Year Post Op

Today is my one year surgaversary!!

I will have official progress photos and weigh in next week... I DID see 199.8 this past week, but then it got into that magical time of the month and now I'm 203, argh! So annoying. Hubby and I are going away for a long weekend (since our two year wedding anniversary is on Monday!) and when we return I'll take the official pics and *hopefully* have a good official weigh in lol.

For now, here are some comparison photos I put together.

One year, -110 lbs. A whole new me!

The Other Day...

I went to Lane Bryant in search of a new pair of shorts for summer. The smallest size I owned previously was a 20, which I've been wearing in my last couple of progress photos, but of course they are much too big now. I grabbed an 18 and a 16 to take into the dressing room with me. I felt optimistic so I tried the 16's first.

To my shock and amazement, they were too big. I changed and went to grab a size 14, figuring they would be too tight and I'd be in between the two sizes. To my even greater shock and amazement, they fit perfectly. Size 14. Fit. Perfectly.

I cried in the dressing room.

After collecting myself I decided to buy some new jeans too. The 14's seemed a bit snug so I bought 16, but they are actually kind of baggy so with those I think I'm right in between. But still... walking out with a 16 and a 14, I felt like I was walking on air.

Even though Lane Bryan's sizes run generous, the important thing is when I started I was wearing size 28 from that store. I have gone from their biggest size to their smallest size!!!!!

It still amazes me how much has changed. Today, I went grocery shopping and I had to pick up some items we were asked to bring to a party this weekend. Chips and soda... two things I haven't bought in almost a year. Just walking down those two aisles of the store was a strangely foreign experience. They were so unfamiliar and I couldn't believe how weird it felt.

That was a good reminder... things HAVE changed, so much. That even though lately I have struggled with some of my food choices... I have still come a very long way and there are TONS of things I do not even TOUCH anymore such as chips, soda, most fried foods and most fast food, that pretty much used to make up my ENTIRE diet.

This makes me feel good.

However, that's the bright side and I do need to look at the not so bright side also. My eating in Chicago wasn't great... I did as well as I could for the most part, but I had way too many sweets and desserts. When I got home I had gained 3 lbs... not too shabby for a vacation. Since I did a 5K while I was there and got a great workout at the waterpark, I'm sure that helped me not to gain even more. But then I was only home 1 day and went up to our timeshare with my husband. We took all kinds of good food with us, planning only to eat out for our favorite sushi a couple times and eat everything else at home. Unfortunately we both went into pig-out vacation mode and we ate candy, popcorn and sweets.

Night before last as we were going to bed, I exploded, telling him how awful I felt about how we were eating. He felt the same way. We realize there are both ups and downs when it comes to going through this together - we like to be bad together. But we can also talk about it and pull ourselves out of it together. When we got up the next morning, we threw away all the remaining candy, popcorn and junk (hello s'mores!) that we still had.

I told him what scares me the most is not gaining a couple pounds - I know that is temporary and easy to get rid of. What scares me is the lack of control I have been feeling over this behavior. It's wayyyy to familiar, and i know exactly where it will take me.

I swore I'd never say no to anything... but I think at least for a while, I have to say no to sweets. I need to get them out of my system. Other than my Starbucks twice per week, no other sweets. No candy, no chocolate, no desserts, no cookies, etc. And also watching my carbs more again. I am planning to be very strict about this at least until our one year appointment (which we are moving to June, at Ian's one year). Once I have all the junk out of my system, then I can decide when and IF to bring any back in. I used to be okay with a little here and there and I hope I can do that again. But right now, I can't... so I need to abstain. I never thought I would do this... but for now it is necessary. If I have it around I go nuts with it and can't stop myself. Somewhere along the way I have lost that. I think part of it is physical - when it's in your system you want more more more. Part of it is mental, and I had that part good so I think the physical of having it in my system is what is making it a lot harder. So for now... out of my system.

I've now been eating "right" for two days and I already feel so much better. This is how it SHOULD be. This is how it WILL be.

I'm not beating myself up, but rather picking myself up and moving forward to live the life I want to live :) I have more changes to make, more pounds to lose and more life to live! Whoo!

5 Month Update: Part 1

I'm splitting my 5 Month Update into two parts because right now I don't have my progress photos or video ready, those will come tomorrow :) It's now dark when hubby gets home from work, so my dad is going to come over today to take my progress photos :) Then I have to make them into the side-by-side comparisons, and record my video at some point!

This Months Stats:
Current Weight: 221 lbs
(Starting Weight was 310 lbs)
Weight 1 Month Ago: 230 lbs
Weight Lost This Month: 9 lbs
Total Weight Lost: 89 lbs
Inches Lost This Month: 5 1/2"
Total Inches Lost: 62" (wow)
Current clothing sizes: (thought I'd add this category!)
Tops: XL Bottoms: 18 Bra: 42B
Beginning clothing sizes were:
Tops: 3X Bottoms: 26/28 Bra: 48B

My detailed measurements will soon be on my Stats Page.

Here's the obligatory photo from the scale :)

I will expand more on my thoughts from this month when I do my video... but definitely my loss was slower this month. Challenges? I was sick with strep and ear infection. Lost 2 lbs during that time but they stayed gone so I think they were real. Had the never-ending period, it finally ended... for only a week and a half, and now it's back :( Yesterday I was cranky, felt down, felt hungry, craved sweet things more. Should have known. Welcome back dear monthly visitor. Don't you know you are 2 weeks early? So... at least I understand the scale. Things were going down again and I got to 220.5 but then yesterday and the day before were 221-222. Whyyyyyy??? Now I know why :-P I have continued with my workouts and eating well so I knew the gain wasn't "real", but I thought maybe it was from building muscle with personal training. That may be part of it but I sure know that it is probably water retention due to getting my period again. Sigh.

At any rate, 9 lbs for the months is still awesome. It's the least I've had so far and I am definitely battling that fear that it is slowing way down now... but I am keeping my head in the game and hoping it will pick up slightly again. I am 11 pounds from losing 100 lbs, and I wanted to hit that mark by the time I hit 6 months. So my goal for this month is to meet or exceed 11 pounds lost. :) I'm going to do everything I can to make that happen!! Has 3 workouts already this week (Sun,Mon,Thurs) and have two more planned (Fri, Sun)soon :) Missed yesterday because I was so tired/cranky/down... at least now I know there was a reason.

So! Hopefully tomorrow I'll be back with my progress photos and video!

Now just a little more about clothes :) Again. LOL

Normally I wouldn't shop for clothes twice in one week. However, I went to another JC Penney trying to find the white vest in black (website says 'no longer available'), and I wanted to get the pink/grey striped hoodie in the purple/grey combo too. I found the hoodie, but not the vest. Fortunately I found another vest that I love even MORE!!! It's warmer and more suitable for the cold, which I will be needing because I am always cold now. It is size XL. I also bought one more long sleeve shirt, black/white stripes, in size LARGE!!! And two sweaters, in size LARGE!!! You could have knocked me over with a feather. I know it's just different pieces fitting differently, but it was awesome to find out I can wear XL, and then L, in the same week :-D

Here's my new stuffs...

The vest fits like a glove and makes me feel so thin. Plus it's warm and COZY! It turned cold when I was in the store (67 when I went in, 52 when I came out an hour later) so I wore it :) 52 felt like winter freeze... so I am reaaaaallly going to be in trouble when it's in the 20's and 30's. Ahhhh!

I also got some clothes from my sister in law. I didn't take pics of most of them but thought I would show off this cute dress:

It's a size XL from Target. Their other stuff doesn't fit me, so that's weird. But anyway... I have no idea if I'll get to wear this dress to anything during the time it fits me, but if so, at least it's hanging in my closet. :) She was just going to get rid of it anyway. Maybe if we go to a nice dinner out sometime soon I can wear a jacket over it. It might still be too cold though.

I finally lost some inches off my upper arm this month. About 1 1/2" I think. It was about the same for 3 months so YAY! I think in the above photo of the black dress, I can tell my arm is smaller. Whoooo!

That's it for now, back with Part Two soon!

New Clothes, New Size

Hey everybody! First a quick update since my last post ~ no, my weight did not bounce back up and I am at 220.5 right now...yes, my period has actually stopped (thank God! finally!)...and yes I am feeling all better now :) Almost done with my antibiotic. Just a little scratchiness in my throat but nothing too bad.

Today is going to be my first personal training session!! It's not at Lifetime, it's at the independent place that works with bariatric patients. I'm aiming to do personal trianing Mondays and the group class Thursdays (both are strength training) in addition to my 3 cardio days per week. I'll let you know how it goes :)

OK so on to what this post is really about... new clothes!!

Everything I had left that fits is all t-shirts and tank tops. It is definitlely fall now, although we are still having a lot of days in the 70's, there are some in the 50's and 60's.... and this is Colorado so, it could snow tomorrow without warning lol. The only predictable thing about Colorado weather is the fact that it's unpredictable ;) or so they say.

So! I put together Fashion Show Video #2 :) Hope you enjoy!

The summary, if you don't have time or can't watch the video:

Stocked up on great layering pieces that will work for fall and winter. Long sleeve shirts, sweatshirts, sweaters, and a puffer vest. I got 10 pieces at JC Penney for $141.00... feel like I got a good value... and a lot of great stuff for the season- until it gets too big anyway :-D But since things are moving a little slower now, hopefully the clothes will last a little longer. Anyway, the big news of the video is that I went to plus sizes, tried on a bunch of 1X's and most of them were huge on me. A few things ran smaller and fit well, so I got those. Then I went downstairs to REGULAR sizes and tried on a bunch of XL's - which ALL fit. Well, all except one thing that was a little too tight. This felt great - first time ever fitting into regular XL's in my adult life. I also talk a little bit about body dismorphia and how I still look at the clothes and think they are way too small.
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I ended up getting even MORE clothes after the happenings of this video - and I didn't have to spend any money!! Why? Because I am now the same size as my sister in law Melissa... and she went through her closet and got rid of a bunch of stuff she didn't need anymore. I went over there last night to try things on and I came home with like 6-7 tops, a couple sweatshirts and a pair of jeans! Whoo!! Score!

I had suspicions I was getting to be an XL because I tried on some clearance tops at Eddie Bauer last week in XXL that were too big. They didn't have them in XL so I didn't know for sure. My SIL keeps asking me if I can shop at Old Navy yet (plus is online only, so stores are only regular sizes)... and I said yes I think I'd fit in the XXL's. Well when I was at her house last night, I tried on some things in her closet also just to see - I tried several Old Navy XL's (not XXL!!) and they all fit too. I'm sure I'm still a ways away from fitting in a juniors XL for some of the cuter,trendier stuff I see in the stores...but hey, I am well on my way now to shopping in regular stores. :) YAY!

This pic is of my favorite top that I got (if you watched the video you already saw this pic)... I am posting this pic because it really makes me see/realize that I've lost 90 lbs. :) Love it.

NSV today

Had some NSV's at the chiropractor's office today. I went in for a decompression treatment. I lay on this table... and first of all it is so much easier to get up on it now. Also, before surgery, I couldn't see the fish:

Now I can easily see them when I am laying there! Matt and I were talking about it (that's him in the background) and he had some nice things to say. Check out my video!

Seeing the Difference

Yesterday the hubby and I want to the Colorado Railroad Museum... we walked around outside for a few hours taking photos of all the old trains. And each other! I was really pleasantly surprised by the pics. He took a few of me and some were full body and I was able to really see the difference of how far I've come.

I've taken the liberty of putting some older pics next to the new ones as a comparison.

Note: I am 12 weeks post op.

And a recent face pic:

I am feeling so great about the changes I can see!

Now some for my hubby, who is at 10 weeks post op.

Thursday 13: Changes Since Surgery

I am starting Thursday 13 today. Don't know if I will do it every week but I will try! I wanted to point out some things I have noticed since having surgery so that is my topic today!

Thursday 13: Changes since Surgery

1. Fit into the seat at the movie theater with both arms down - comfortably!
2. Don't get looked at funny when I walk into my fancy gym.
3. Don't get looked at funny when walking to the pool in my bathing suit, or when swimming laps.
4. Can actually SWIM laps again.
5. Have changed several clothing sizes and wearing all of my old smaller clothes.
6. Don't have many food cravings at all, which is so freeing!
7. Not embarrassed to change clothes in the gym locker room (completely naked, since I am usually changing into/out of my bathing suit.) Although, I actually DO get some looks, and then I remember duh, I have all the scars on my tummy from the surgery and people are wondering what the heck they are. Do I care? Not really.
8. I smile more.
9. I can walk, hike, etc and actually enjoy it and not feel like I'm gonna die.
10. Even though I have more energy overall, I want to sleep ALL the time. Lots of naps, lots of going to bed early. I think the quick weight loss wears out my body.
11. I find myself taking on more. Not just more physically, but more responsibilities in my life. I have the energy to try to do more.
12. The door gets held open for me more. People strike up conversation with me more.
13. I fit onto the massage table without my arms hanging off the sides.

I can only imagine how many changes I will be able to list in another 50 lbs. I am still a person who is 100 lbs overweight, and I can say all these positive things. I'm really looking forward to what is to come.

Party Plate

Last night I went to my first party post-op. I've been to family BBQ's, but those were easy because everyone knew I had surgery. At this party, my friend who hosted it knows I had surgery, and she is about to have surgery herself... but none of her friends know, so we couldn't really say that was how we knew each other, and I didn't want to tell them I had surgery just because that might complicate things for my friend. So although I would typically be open and tell people I had it if they asked, last night was a little different.

Luckily my friend had a very nice spread and I was very happy with my plate. :)

Here's me and the lovely April, and her spread of yummy foods.

Here is what I ended up having:

I had a turkey & cheese pinwheel but I removed the lettuce and tomato, and after taking this pic I also removed about half the amount of tortilla. I also ate all the carrots but only a tiny bit of the ranch (it was spicy for me), and a little while later I was able to eat the little lemon treat. I would say this was about a 6" diameter plate so the portions were pretty small that I was eating.

I would have liked to have more turkey and cheese from that pinwheel but there were about enough for the people there so I didn't want to take a 2nd one, but I think I made it work. Luckily I had PLENTY of protein yesterday because I got a protein smoothie from my gym after my workout.

I felt comfortably full and happy at the party, and also like I really didn't draw any attention to myself. No one seemed to be pigging out since they had already eaten, or maybe they eat that little anyway, so for once I blended in! Normally in the past I would have wanted to eat 3 times that amount at least and I'd be paranoid that people would notice me pigging out. It was nice to not feel that way. :)

If you want to see more pics and hear more about the party, visit my personal blog here.

New Clothes & Closet Space

First order of business I would just like to report that I lost 6 more pounds! I've been doing a protein shake for breakfast every day for a little over a week now and it must really be helping. My tummy really likes it in the morning anyway because it doesn't seem to want food right away.... and adding the extra 30 grams of protein into my day seems to be very beneficial to the weight loss. My current weight is...

254 lbs. Awesome. I am now a mere 16 lbs away from my lowest ever adult weight - 238 - which I weighed in February 2007. I remember the date because buying my car was my reward to myself for making it to the lowest weight ever. Unfortunately it did not last and instead I gained over 75 lbs in the past 3 years... I have to keep reminding myself that this time is different!

What this post is really about though is... clothes! I got a chance to go shopping with my sister in law the other day at a store called Cato's. I found some cute things!! The most exciting thing though is that I went shopping there before surgery and nothing would really fit. This time, I needed mostly their smallest plus-size, some in the second smallest. That just felt so good! And I also got some AWESOME accessories! I am so in love with earrings, and necklaces are growing on me now, too.

Here are a couple of my ensembles!

Pink tank top and an awesome necklace... which I love because I can wear it with pink, green, blue, or purple!

And these fun pink earrings! Love them. All of their jewelry was so CHEAP!

And one of my favorite new outfits...

I never knew I could wear yellow! I guess with the extra tan lately, I can. :) The necklace is so awesome too with yellow, grey, silver and black. It will also go perfectly with my size 12 dress ~ someday, when it fits ;)

Also got this very lightweight, short sleeve grey sweater that I just love... and it goes great with this outfit as well as many other things!

I like this because I've been getting cold a lot. With the rapid weight loss I just never know when I'm going to be chilled. It was 96 today but I was so cold in the movie theater that even when I left and walked outside, I kept this sweater on. Crazy.


I got a couple other things too but don't have any more pictures. When I get around to wearing them I will take some. Mostly just more earrings and necklaces... but also a grey pair of capris SIZE 20!!!!! That must be a fluke because everything else I'm wearing is a size 22. But it still feels awesome anyway :)

Now for my closet! Here is my current wardrobe...

Everything that was deemed too small the last time I tried everything on... now fits!!! And I added in just a couple more things that are too small now, hanging all the way on the left.

I also took over another section of the closet... it's only fair right? The man should not have 3/4 of the closet!!! :) The reason I did this is... I now have PANTS!!!!! Before surgery I only had one pair of jeans that fit. Now that I am able to wear size 22 again, I pulled out my storage bin in the garage and tried them all on.... they all fit except for one that ran small. So now I have tons of jeans and even some brown pants, dress pants, khakis, and capris! Oh and a couple skirts too!

It is so great to have these all fitting now! I am also fitting into some other cute skirts not shown here. I will have to do another clothing post soon!!

Wading Through My Feelings

Yesterday I was feeling frustrated because my weight hasn't been going down very much lately. I weighed myself at my gym and it gave me the same result I see at home. 273. I am feeling a little stressed because at my 3 week appt I weighed 282 and I have my 6 week appt coming up tomorrow and it will be 9 pounds less in 3 weeks. I guess I feel like with surgery it should be faster than that but I need to let my body do what it needs to do in order to catch up before we keep heading down in #'s again.

I really thought I would be okay with the scale and not care about the weight. I think it's partially other people that play into this because the question you get from everyone every time you see them is "How much have you lost now???"... not "How are you feeling about being more active?" or "Doesn't it feel great to be a size down?" or "That's so wonderful that emotionally you have made so much progress." No, all people want to know is the numbers. I don't blame them - it's the concrete way to judge success in their minds. Although I am measuring my success in many ways, other people don't, and that's ok. But I thought **I** would be able to ignore the numbers... and I haven't been. When I got on that scale at the gym I expected to see 270. Or even 267. I've been working out a LOT and eating well. Isn't it only fair?

I have to take a chill pill, sit back and relax. There is no rush here. I think the problem comes from having lost & gained SO MANY times that I am terrified that is going to happen again. I have lost 30-40 pounds several times and been in this exact place - feeling better, wearing smaller clothes, have a good progress photo comparison. And it has always been fleeting. So I feel like I have been waiting for the other shoe to drop... to start gaining it back even though I'm working hard. That's when I throw in the towel.

I am waiting for proof that this time is different. What I have to realize is the proof is there. It's my incisions... it's the restriction I feel if I take one extra bite of food past 2.5 ounces. I have had surgery, and that will make this different. As long as I continue to put in my hard work, I WILL be successful.

I realized when I got home from the gym/swimming yesterday I was feeling a little bummed about this. When I got hungry, I went to eat some mac and cheese. Now this in and of itself is okay, I have it from time to time and I eat so little that it's okay and fits into my meal plan. The problem was WHY I wanted to eat it. I wanted to eat something "bad" and "comforting" to make myself feel better. I recognized this in myself and put it down and decided to have some shrimp - high protein and low everything else, one of the best choices I can make. But then I turned back and said "screw it, it's not like I can eat the whole thing of mac and cheese anymore (we are talking the personal portions that come in cups)... so it won't hurt me to have it and I'll feel better." I even opened the cardboard package and took out a cup. Then I said "no - it may not hurt me now, but one day I'll be able to eat more and these kinds of choices will make me gain my weight back. I need to start changing these behaviors NOW." So I put it back down and had the shrimp.

What did I realize? THAT made me feel better. Way more than eating the mac and cheese would have. Because I realized that eating due to being bummed about the scale would only slow things further. If I want the scale to get moving, I have to do the right things and make the right choices. I ended up having a stellar day yesterday - all my protein, all my water, in my calorie range, and even did more exercise. I had already gone swimming but after the Mac n Cheese Epiphany, I asked Ian if we could go walking when he got home from work. So we did :)

These emotional and behavioral issues are the true challenge to this. The surgery, the small portions, the eating, the exercising - they are all doable and not that hard. It's this internal stuff that is the truly difficult part. The true mountain to climb. But I am getting there, one day at a time!

I have my first appointment with my therapist since surgery coming up this afternoon and I'm definitely going to talk to her about all of this!

Hello Clothes, Goodbye Clothes

Yesterday and today have mostly been spent going through my closet, and a huge storage bin of clothes. My current clothes we getting quite loose. I am still wearing quite a lot of them - the ones that I was wearing VERY tight on me before and now they fit well. But some are too big and had to go. I also had some older stuff I just didn't want anymore, even if it is still smaller. Besides all this my closet was a bit of a mess, stuff on the floor, drawers all crammed with random stuff. I needed to go through everything.

This is where I started. Looks innocent enough.

There's my laundry basket with clean stuff to put away, a pile of a few new things from Wal-Mart and Old Nacy, and a box of clothes  I purchased from ebay. This was all in our room and got me thinking, it's time to tackle this stuff.

Somehow, a little while later, I was looking at this:

I first separated out all my warm stuff since it's summer and I don't need it. I put some in the get rid of pile, and some in the keep pile. It may not fit anymore when it gets cooler but for now I'll keep it. It's Colorado so I may sometimes need these at random times or if I go up in to the mountains.

When I finished I had a whole box of stuff for Goodwill:

A good pile of still-too-small stuff to put back in my storage bins (these were new items from my mom, from an ebay purchase, etc that are still sizes 20,18,16):

And I had this ENTIRE RACK of clothing that I am getting rid of!!!!

That's a bunch of stuff going bye-bye. I was looking into this plus size consignment shop today, but they have SO MANY rules and restrictions so it may not be the best option. I might just have a little garage sale in a couple weeks. For now this is just sitting in my living room. Our cat Big Orange was enjoying this clothing rack in the oddest way...

Ok dude, whatever makes you happy I guess!

Alright so back to clothes. Once I had all this stuff done, divided, etc, my closet was looking pretty bare:

That's my whole closet, yes. By the way I would like to take this opportunity to point out that my husband has a gazillion times more closet space than I do. This is HIS side of the closet:

The little part you see to the right begins my little portion of the closet! I am pretty good about clothes. It may seem like I had a ton but a lot of it had been stored in crazy places. I typically keep ONLY what fits hanging in my closet and only things I actually wear... so it stays small. But I may end up stealing some more closet space from hubby as time goes on.

Anyway my closet was pretty bare and then I thought... if all this stuff was too big, maybe some of my smaller items might fit now. So I pulled out a big tub of clothes marked:

These were stored away when they became too small. I got rid of things I didn't want but kept things I thought I'd really want to wear again. So I pulled out this bin today and tried on everything in the box. EVERY SINGLE THING FIT except for ONE tank top that although marked an 18, fits like a 14. Also there were more sweaters and sweatshirts so I left them in the bin.
 During the trying on, it was a bit messy again:

Luckily I had Supervisor Cat to keep the project on track. (That's Phoebe.)

I was particularly excited about these sets of tops I have with a plain tank top and a striped lightweight collared shirt over it. I have it in 3 colors. I used to wear them ALL the time 3 summers ago because they are so light and comfy. They fit again!!! Just a tad snug across the back but they work and in 10 more lbs they will be perfect. Here I am all happy with one of them on:

Disclaimer: Objects in mirror may be chubbier than they appear. LOL. Part of my body is cut off in the reflection so I am not as thin as I look there lol.

Once I tried it all on and knew it fit I added it all to my closet. Now we're talkin' :

A nice full closet again, with lots ready to be worn!!

I worked HARD, and I was tired, but by the time I wanted to take a nap, it appeared all the spots were already taken:

Ain't that a kick in the head.

Oh Wait... I Had Surgery!

Wow, I think it just hit me that I actually HAD weight loss surgery. I was browsing amazon for books of interest to a post-WLS patient... some are cookbooks, some are dealing with the changes I'll go through, things like that. This strange feeling came over me... now I'm not looking at these things like "oh this will be helpful later on after surgery"... I HAVE had surgery!! I've spent so long (between my first research 7 years ago, and now) researching as a potential weight loss surgery candidate, I don't think it truly hit me until now even though I've been through the pain, I have incisions all over my tummy, etc. I guess it's all flown by so fast that it just hadn't really sunk in.

Part of the problem for me right now is that I am still experiencing quite a bit of hunger. It's a manageable type of hunger, but I'm sad because so many people who have had the VSG say they woke up from surgery not being hungry and never felt hunger until several months out from surgery. I had EXTREME hunger the first several days after surgery... it has calmed down now, but I still feel hungry all day. Maybe my body can take more than the 1 oz of food every 2 hours, I don't know... but I am trying to hang in there because it is at least manageable, and I am hoping when I get to the next phase of eating at 3 weeks, it will get better.

Anyway, so here I am realizing that I AM one of these people who HAD weight loss surgery! This is my life now. It's done. I really couldn't be happier that I've actually gone through with it. I just know this is going to help me change my life forever. I have always been a planner, a researcher... I like to have lots of "stuff" to support whatever I'm doing (like all the small dishes and things I bought)... now I'm moving onto books :)

The other day Sarah and I went to B&N and I looked at lots of cookbooks. I settled on two diabetic cookbooks because they fit the requirements - high protein, low carb, contains all the nutrition info for each recipe. I looked at many and chose the two with the most recipes that appealed to me (the picky eater who hates mushrooms and tomatoes, which people seem to want to put in everything.) I also looked at the various "Biggest Loser" cookbooks and I liked the Family one (if it's kid-friendly, it's me-friendly LOL).

Even though I can't eat solid food for more than another month (boo) I am really excited about these :)

Also, I didn't think I would need the toddler spoons, but a regular spoon just does not fit into a 1oz shot glass (which I'm eating out of right now), so I went back and got the toddler spoons and now life is much easier!!!

In my research on Amazon now, I'm finding there are cookbooks specifically for bariatric patients (didn't see any at B&N)... so I'll have to read all the reviews and try to choose some. It's so hard for me to choose a cookbook from the internet because I like to look through it and see if the recipes appeal to me. But, when I get it all figured out, I'll be sure to post about what books I ended up with and what I'm happy with... I'm also looking at books about dealing with all the physical and emotional changes after surgery. Because hey - I had surgery! And this stuff could really help me! Wow. :)

Today, at 10 days post-op, I am already noticing some changes:
- Going up the stairs is easier than it used to be
- My wedding rings are so loose I can't safely wear them (they might fall right off)
- I'm not getting headaches (used to have them almost daily, have not had one since surgery)
- Smelling food can be almost as good as eating it if you have the right mindset :)
- Eating for hunger and not for taste cravings is a whole new thing, but I like it
- It is possible to have a life that does not revolve around food.