My Morning Cocktail

This is how I start my mornings. I get a 16oz cup of water and all my pills and gummies. I take my pills first (Prilosec for my antiacid, Celebrex for arthritis) with  a few sips of water and I eat my gummies - two multivitamin gummies and two vitamin C gummies. Then I have my morning protein shake. Afterward I eat my calcium chew (the red square - raspberry flavor calcium citrate chew from Bariatric Advantage) and pop the sublingual B-12 tablet under my tongue. Once that's done I finish drinking my water.

It may not look very appetizing, but it's really not bad. I kind of like having a "routine" to start my morning and it helps me make sure to remember to take everything. I usually take another 1-2 of the calcium chews throughout the day (you can only absorb so much at once). Those are the most recent addition - it took me a while to find a calcium citrate supplement I liked. I recommend them, taste sort of like a laffy taffy. I do NOT like the chocolate ones, but my hubby does.

The challenge is traveling. I have to take all of this with me, which isn't so bad, but remembering your "routine" when you are totally out of your element and sleeping weird hours and super busy... well, that's harder. I also won't have my protein shakes because there's really no way to take them with me. I might try to take powder, but I haven't decided yet.

I am going to do my best to do everything right on this trip :)

I Don't Make the Decisions Here...

"Sleevie" does. That's my sleeve/tummy. It's weird, I just had a great workout (swimming) and I was soooo hungry. Nothing at home appealed to me so I picked up some tuna and some hard boiled eggs from the gym cafe to bring home with me. I dished out maybe 2-3oz of tuna on my plate and a flatbread cracker. Also 1 hard boiled egg. I was able to eat only about 1/3 the tuna and the egg. Interesting, as the amount I put on my plate would typically be what I would eat.

So apparently my tummy has shrunk a little. I wasn't able to eat that much yesterday either... apparently the stuck pork issue on Sunday and not eating hardly anything that day has shrunk my capacity a little... I'll take it!!!!! I could really use that help. I listen to Sleevie and I never eat more that what Sleevie says to eat (unless it's on accident)... so hopefully my capacity will stay smaller for a bit!

My Motivational Poster

Ian and I had a talk in the car about how we will never be vegetarians (no offense to those who are, we just couldn't do it). Ian says, "we're meant to be omnivores" and I said.... "mmm.... om nom... you know what? I'm an OM NOM- ivore! I eat all things OM NOM!!!!" We had a good laugh and later he said I should make a motivational poster and he found me the perfect photo :) This makes me LOL. ;)

In other news, 205.4 today. Finally the scale is moving. WORKOUTS mean WEIGHT LOSS???? WHO KNEW??? Hahaha of course I am kidding, I am just so thankful my back is allowing me to keep up with more exercise right now. I'm off to the gym for some swimming today!

Whew

Started off my day with Leslie Sansone... did 2 miles from one of her walking videos and then did her yoga video. Good start to my day!! I didn't eat much yesterday with food being stuck, but did manage to have two good meals in the later part of the day. Now I'm off to the chiropractor... trying to keep up on ALL the right thing for my back! I have a trip to Chicago coming up this weekend and I want to be feeling good. It doesn't help that hubby is sick and I think I'm getting it :( no no no, go away cold!
I am also going to try VERY hard to eat well on my Chicago trip. It's hard because I don't have much in the way of my own food, have a hard time actually eating anywhere near 6 times a day, and most meals are eaten out. But I will make a game of it and do my best. I do plan to enjoy a chili dog while I am out there, but other than that I will be good :) Hoping to get lots of activity too.

I really want to be 199 by May 3rd which is when my 1 year doctor appointment is scheduled... although my one year will actually be May 20th. So as long as I make it by May 20th I'll be happy, but if I could make it by May 3rd I would just be ecstatic. I KNOW I can do it if I just keep up on my exercise and watch my food choices!!

Food Stuck

I am going through a crappy morning here. I have food stuck... and I didn't even eat today yet! Last night's pork dinner must have gotten stuck in there somewhere. Now I have eaten a little too much meat before and had a "stuck" feeling for a couple of hours. But last night I never felt full or stuck, I felt like I ate the perfect amount. I never felt uncomfortable at all. When I awoke this morning I noticed I still felt full - not overly full but just felt like I had food in my stomach. That has never happened before. Then when I drank some water to take my morning pills, and went to start doing my yoga workout, I started to feel REALLY OVERLY full and uncomfortable - just from those few sips of water! It got so bad I had to stop yoga and hang out in the bathroom for an hour to get myself to throw up. I am very bad at throwing up, it takes amazing willpower to get myself to do it. I managed to, but everything that came up was all liquified.... nothing solid, and I still feel like something is stuck. I managed to go finish my yoga workout but I have yet to drink anything else, I'm scared!
I texted a fellow surgery friend and she suggested drinking a hot liquid... so right now I am brewing a cup of tea that I plan to drink VERY slowly and carefully. The hope is that it will help relax the muscles and dissolve the stuck food.... wish me luck and I will report back on how it goes!

Update: One cup of tea helped, but when I ate a yogurt it still had trouble going down. I waited awhile, had another cup of tea and tried to drink it all while it was really hot. A couple hours later I attempted to eat soup and a string cheese and it all went down fine. Felt SO GOOD to finally be able to really eat. Everything is okay now :)

10 Month Update

Well, I don't have a photo this time but my weight at 10 months post-op is 206.6 lbs. That is a loss of 103.4 lbs so far. Finally a little bit of movement. When I started my 'pouch test' type of diet last week I was back up to 210, so I am very happy with this much movement downward. I am not doing the all liquids all day this week, but I am really watching my food a lot better now.

I also want to update about the back pain situation. I am doing a lot better. I think the cause of it was me not going to the chiropractor for over 3 months. I am going again and doing better now. I also had an appointment with my doctor because I was concerned about the sudden acute pain. Luckily after a series of questions he asked me, he was able to determine that I am not experiencing any nerve pain. My pain is all what he calls mechanical pain - it's being caused by my muscles reacting to my spine problems and tightening up on me. He says chiropractic and massage are the best treatments for me. He also prescribed me a muscle relaxant to help with all of the tightness I tend to get. So far I've been using them once a day during the day, and once at night to help me sleep more comfortably. He also prescribed me a pain medication which hopefully I won't have to use often - but will be good to have on hand if I experience the type of pain I was going through last week - it was awful!

The doctor also said he wants me to do more core strengthening exercises, paritcularly swimming and yoga. I'm on it. I started with a yoga video this morning. I already had one by Leslie Sansone and hadn't really used it before. It felt GREAT.. it stretched ALL of my trouble areas and I believe the strengthening I will get from it will eventually help me a LOT. Next week I hope to start doing some swimming and also continue with the yoga.

I only managed two workouts last week and one this week but now that my pain is under control I hope to do more. I have to be VERY careful. Although the worst pain has passed, when I overdo my activities I make myself hurt really badly. Still trying to find a good balance!!!

I don't have measurements or official photos this month - at this point i think I'll wait two more months until my one year to do the official stuff :)

However here are a couple photos of me from last weekend that show my current size:

And here's a quick refresher of the old me:

I'd say I'm pretty damn happy with how far I've come.

I would like to be 199 or lower for my one year on May 20th. Lately I've lost so slow, but that is just 7.5 lbs and I have two months. I want to at least meet that goal and hopefully exceed it :)

Snowshoeing Part 2

Photos from our 2nd snowshoeing trip! Enjoy!

Pain Update

Well, yesterday I ended up feeling better for a while and got in a really good walk. Then I had a chiropractor appointment. He said my L4 vertebrae was twisted, he adjusted me and I had nerve block, it all felt great. Then I sat in traffic for almost an hour and a half and by the time I got home I was feeling a lot of pain again, and it got worse all day. Had another awful night of barely sleeping. I cried a lot in frustration and "why me?" feelings. It feels a tiny bit better today but still bothering me constantly and I can't do SQUAT. Forget working out, I can't even do the dishes or pretty much ANYTHING right now - so thank you for workout suggestions, but I've realized this is serious now that it's day 4 with no relief. I'm going to go see my doctor ASAP and get referred to another spine specialist (since I didn't like the guy I saw in 2006). Who knows how long it will take to get in, but I need to start acting now. This may be something that goes away on it's own in a couple days but it may very well not be - most things with my back just start one day out of nowhere and then stick around long term so I need to be prepared for that possibility.

Frustrated.

I worked out Sunday and Monday, which was great. My hip pain has been almost nonexistent since Sunday which is even MORE great. However since my Monday morning workout I've been having horrible pain in my left side. Not sure what to call it, it's partially my back, partially the front of my hip (but totally different than my other hip pain). All I did on Monday was a Leslie Sansone video, nothing unusual at all. I did one of the things I "knew I could do". And yet here I am, hurt. It's been REALLY bad. I can barely sleep, I have tossed and turned all night Mon night and last night. It hurts to walk around. I do have an appointment with the chiropractor today for an adjustment and a nerve block treatment. I'm really hoping that gets rid of this pain so I can get back to working out tomorrow. PLEASE?!
I was so relieved that my hip pain was better... then this popped right up. Muscles and nerves do crazy things, part of me wondered if something different is pinched and as soon as this lets up, the other pain will come back. But this pain is worse so I just want this to stop, even if my regular hip pain comes right back.
I just want to move. I want to be capable of working out 5 days a week, taking long walks, etc.

As far as the pouch test, we decided to do something a little different. We are having liquids all day, and two small, healthy, high-protein meals at night. Kinda like a VSG version of slim fast I guess :) It's been good the first two days. I've been hungry some, but not really any more than I usually am. It feels good to get a lot of the junk and carbs out of my system.

I've been having one of the Premier Protein shakes in the morning, and later in the day having a shake I make in the blender with 1 scoop of choc protein powder, a few slices of frozen strawberries, and milk or water. I made it with milk on Monday and got sick (maybe have a little problem with milk now?) so I made it with water yesterday and felt fine. Saves calories too I guess. I just added another 1/4 scoop of powder to get a little more protein. One day I had a 2nd carton of premier protein shake, one day I didn't.

Monday in the evening I had a meal of tuna salad and then a meal of apple and peanut butter. Yesterday I had cooked a chicken crock pot dinner, so that was dinner #1 (maybe 4 oz chicken?) and dinner #2 was the other 1/2 apple from the day before with peanut butter. (I don't eat apple and PB every day, but since I only eat 1/2 apple at a time, I tend to finish it the next day).

Let me tell ya, being on liquids sure makes you pee... a LOT! I am still drinking 16 oz of water or more in between meals, plus my meals being liquid all day. But it feels very good, very cleansing.

I think I am finally on track with this and I think 5 days of this will really help me to get refocused on proper low carb, high protein foods.

Now if I can just get moving and not be struck down by pain after simple workouts!!!!!! I am so annoyed!!!

Current Struggles at Nearly 10 Months Post Op

Alright guys it's time to have a talk all about the weight loss surgery. For those who come after me, and for all those interested, I need to reiterate that this is NOT easy.

Once your stomach capacity creeps back up, things get so much harder. I try to live a balanced eating life, get lots of protein, etc... but to also not have a diet mentality and say NO, NEVER to certain foods. I let myself have treats. I do think that is okay. However, they are too often these days and that is something I need to work on.

I wanted this type of surgery so that I CAN still eat sweets and fats and to be able to feel like I can eat pretty "normally". However, this means I have to make all the changes on my own that I would make if I had never had surgery. In the beginning I was VERY good at this and very strict. I think that is made obvious by the fact I reached about 93 lbs lost at 5 1/2 months post op which, for my type of surgery, is a LOT.

However here I am 4 1/2 months later and only 9 more pounds lost (102 lbs lost now). While it is fantastic I have continued losing, and maintaining, I have got to make some changes. I continue to get smaller (which means I burn less calories) and I continue to be able to eat more (6-8oz per meal, 5-6 meals a day now). I think my stomach capacity is pretty much leveled off now, and I can work with it, I just need to make the correct choices a LOT more often then I have been. I still want to lost another 30-50lbs and if I my current choices pretty much keep me maintaining NOW, at 208 lbs, then I'm sure it will be impossible to be 180 lbs or 160 lbs without changing what I am doing.

I am NOT one of the lucky people who is never hungry after surgery. I feel hunger many many times a day. True hunger. I need to start feeding this hunger with the things that will help it stay satisfied

Of course, as I mentioned before, fitness is a problem with my pain level and I haven't been able to do the things I wanted to do. However, I am definitely slacking and there ARE things I can do, I have just been bored of them and been stubborn about not wanting to do them, so I haven't been doing as much. That's the brutal truth there is I have been bullheaded about it. Because I can't do what I want to do, I have done hardly anything. It is time to make a list of the things I know I CAN do and get exercise 4-5 days a week for 30-60 mins each. PERIOD.

I don't really want to go into a detailed action plan here, but I am going to be getting refocused on making healthful food choices a good 90% of the time, far less treats than what I've been allowing myself, focus on more solid dense protein (yes I'm tired of chicken and turkey but I need to get over that and keep chugging). I am also going to focus on MORE exercise and MORE fun active things.

Hubby and I are planning to try the pouch test this week. A lot of post ops do it. I need to look up the specifics but I think the general idea is that for 5 days you repeat the stages of eating from immediately post op. Liquids, then soft/mushy, then soft solids. And ALL meals being 90%-100% protein. This is supposed to help accomplish two things - bring stomach capacity back down some (tighten in up) and also get a lot of sugars and junk out of your system and help you refocus on protein rich foods and eating properly.

I will try to report in more often over the next couple of weeks to let you all know how this stuff is going and if I am able to get my mindset back into a good place.

My friend Aslynn is doing so incredible and dear, so you know I am so happy for you, but I have to admit I am jealous because you are looking so good and so small (size 12 jeans!!). She and I have lost the same amount, but she started out smaller than me so she is of course smaller than me now too, and I'm jealous - but in a good way. In a motivating way. I looked at some new pics of her last night and it reminded me that I want that. I want size 12. I want to finish my journey, and THEN embark on the great task of learning to maintain it. I have gotten so comfortable with the progress I've made so far and that "I'm pretty happy right here"... but I do want more. I want at LEAST to weigh 180 lbs, even if I don't ever get to 160 lbs (I'm not sure where I want to settle). I have in my mind size 12. We shall see.

Anyway, I needed the reminder. The reminder that I'm not finished and I have more work to do. And that I have let my lifestyle slip. I'm lucky I haven't been gaining but if I continue on this path, I will.

You are never cured of obesity. I thought my mindset had changed 100%. I felt so on track, so confident, so changed. But lately I've been slipping, and I need to put a stop to that. I am sure that for the rest of my life I will have to be aware of these sorts of things and change my behaviors before I gain weight back. I'm okay with that. I will consider this my first big test. I've seen it, now I must follow through and do what I need to do.