My goal setting session with Dr. Kate was a really cool experience. I guess I went into it like "goal setting, yeah I've done this before, I know what this is about" but it really was a different experience with her and I have to say, I really liked it!
The first hour was a regular session, talking about my week and everything. I had brought along my newly printed scrapbook pages so she could see some in person. Since she is so supportive and encouraging of my hobby and of me making more time for it, I thought she'd like to see the end result. I told her not to feel like she had to look through them all, that I just wanted her to get the idea. Well she ended up looking through all of them and she loved them and kept saying "I totally get this now! I get what it's all about." It just made me feel really good.
I also told her I was ready to start incorporating regular exercise and I was going to be looking at gyms to figure out which gym had everything I wanted. I ended up choosing Lifetime Fitness, and I'll do a separate post all about that :)
So now onto the goals!
I brought the list I had made, which I shared in my last post. She also had worksheets ready for me to lead me through the goal setting.
Surprisingly, the first step was to reflect on LAST YEAR. Why have I never thought of doing that before? She led me through a visualization of being in my own private movie theater and watching the past year of my life on the screen. It sounds cheesy but it was actually really easy to visualize, and led me to some new realizations! During it she asked me these questions and when I was done I wrote down the answers.
What were your top three successes last year?
1. Wedding planning and maintaining relationships through it / not fighting or being bridezilla :)
2. Prepping and selling our house
3. Facing my problems and choosing to start therapy
What were your top three challenges?
1. Erradicating bad friendships from my life
2. Figuring out who I am and how I fit with my husband
3. Prepping the house for sale and moving
What helped you to overcome these challenges?
The close people in my life - Ian, Sarah, my parents... they were there for me and helped me through these things.
What is the primary message or lesson from your past year's experiences?
This was the most surprising part. When she asked me this I actually SAW the words "trust me" come across the "movie screen"... it was incredible. Something buried in my subconscious that I wasn't aware of. I get the feeling the trust me implied two things - trust myself more, that I know what's best for myself and how to make decisions, and trust my friends and family more, that they will be there for me, help me through things, and still be there no matter what decision I make. They will support me.
So "TRUST" is my word for this year!
Now it was time for the next visualization... back in the movie theater, directing and starring in my own movie of what I want this year to be, and I can make it be whatever I want.
Describe the movie in as much detail as possible, as if it is REAL NOW. This is what I see...
I see myself healthier, thinner, with a smile always on my face. I'm less stressed because I know how to balance my needs and my responsibilities. I am happy with my husband and love is increasing even more as we spend more time together at more activities. I strive to reach my career goals and I'm successful at them and am able to contribute financially to my relationship again.
Now break your vision down into specific areas:
HEALTH/BEAUTY
exercising regularly, eating more healthfully, cooking more
massages, mani/pedis, self care
WEALTH/CAREER
finish school, start businesses, contribute financially
FAMILY/FRIENDS
trust them, spend time with them, keep up long distance friendships
keep improving communication & togetherness with my husband
TRAVEL/FUN
fun weekend activities with husband, get out more
keep taking pics and scrapbooking
take trips back to chicago
plan trips with hubby
NEXT STEP was to break all of these goals down into yearly goals, then determining what is at 6 months, monthly, weekly, daily from that point. Then I would reevaluate weekly goals each week, monthly goals each month, etc throughout the year!
ONE YEAR GOALS:
- Daily exercise
- Mostly whole foods, little processed
- School is done
- Doing web design
- Activities out w/ husband 2 weekends per month
- Two trips to Chicago
- Go on scrapbooking retreat
SIX MONTH GOALS (July):
- Daily exercise
- Adding more whole foods
- Improving cooking skills
- Final stretch with school
- Researching job opportunitis
- 2x per month activities with husband
- trips are completed
ONE MONTH GOALS:
- join gym
- fix wii acessories (for wii fit)
- 3x per week exercise
- only one night eating out each week
- continue with school schedule
- one weekend out with hubby
- get trips scheduled
- get massage, have ian get one too
- manicure
WEEKLY GOALS:
- join gym
- 3 days of exercise
- cook, keep groceries stocked
- catch up on school
- plan a weekend with ian for sometime soon
- schedule my trips
DAILY GOALS:
- school
- preparing foods
- is it an exercise day?
How am I doing so far?
I'm happy to report that as I type this and it's been about 5 days since setting these goals, I am right on tack!! On the daily level I've been doing school, making dinners at home except for one dinner out, and exercising. On the weekly level, I've already joined the gym, grocery shopped and am going again today, and scheduled one of my trips (and very close to scheduling the other.) Also a long talk with my best friend so that goes toward maintaining long distance friendships. My other friend is visiting me this weekend too :)
So I am planning use this blog when I want to sit down and reevaluate my weekly or monthly goals!
I have a phone session with Dr. Kate tomorrow and will be happy to give her this good report :)
I'll be back soon with a gym update, but if I don't get to it tomorrow it won't be til next week since my friend is visiting me Friday - Tuesday.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Friday, January 15, 2010
Well Hi There! :)
So I haven't been writing much in here, mostly because it didn't seem like anyone was reading, and I didn't have that much to say about stuff. I'll try to start writing a bit more though :)
Therapy is going GREAT and I am working on so many things... but I will have to save the long update for another time.
Right now I am preparing for a two hour session that is going to start two hours from now... this is going to be a goal-setting session. We'll be talking about what goals I have, breaking them down, and making an action plan for them.
I'm supposed to do a little bit of thinking about these goals and then she'll help me take it further... so I just wanted to make a little list here of the goals I am already aware of. Hopefully she'll help me think of even more, too :)
This year's health goals:
- Develop exercise as a daily habit, working out every weekday and doing recreational activity on weekends. She has already told me she thinks I can only reach my health goals if I create exercise as a daily habit (with rest when needed of course), especially because I stay home and I'm so sedentary.
- Within that goal, I want to get a little more specific. I want my activities to be varied, and I also want to make sure I do strength training - something I have never done on a consistent basis even when I exercised (cardio) regularly.
- I want to improve my cooking skills, and learn to feel less stressed by meal planning and grocery shopping.
- Cook more, eat out less.
- I want to add more whole foods into my diet, and eat less processed foods.
This year's career/financial goals:
- Finish all of my schooling and get into the web design business
- More immediately, I need to start incorporating ebay sales into my life on a monthly or weekly basis, to bring in some money that I can pay off bills with.
- Continue with the freebie blog I started (a 3-4x per week commitment), keeping in mind my future goal which is:
- In the next year or two I want to start a video-based tutorial website for Digital Scrapbooking that will bring in revenue on a per-item or subscription basis, plus advertising space potential
Personal Enrichment Goals:
- Continue making time for digital scrapbooking on a regualr basis, it brings me joy
- Keep up on taking care of myself through massage, mani/pedi, etc hopefully on a monthly basis
- Keep up on household chores so that I don't feel bad when things pile up and I don't enjoy my surroundings
- Plan things with my husband for weekends where we get out and do things, at least once a month. Things such as going up to the mountains, getting out for a walk or hike together, going to museums downtown, whatever it might be. While he may not be up to it every weekend, once a month is a good place to start.
Alright so that's what I have! Now that I spell it out, it sounds like a lot. I look forward to her helping me break it down :) Will be back soon to update on how this session goes!
Therapy is going GREAT and I am working on so many things... but I will have to save the long update for another time.
Right now I am preparing for a two hour session that is going to start two hours from now... this is going to be a goal-setting session. We'll be talking about what goals I have, breaking them down, and making an action plan for them.
I'm supposed to do a little bit of thinking about these goals and then she'll help me take it further... so I just wanted to make a little list here of the goals I am already aware of. Hopefully she'll help me think of even more, too :)
This year's health goals:
- Develop exercise as a daily habit, working out every weekday and doing recreational activity on weekends. She has already told me she thinks I can only reach my health goals if I create exercise as a daily habit (with rest when needed of course), especially because I stay home and I'm so sedentary.
- Within that goal, I want to get a little more specific. I want my activities to be varied, and I also want to make sure I do strength training - something I have never done on a consistent basis even when I exercised (cardio) regularly.
- I want to improve my cooking skills, and learn to feel less stressed by meal planning and grocery shopping.
- Cook more, eat out less.
- I want to add more whole foods into my diet, and eat less processed foods.
This year's career/financial goals:
- Finish all of my schooling and get into the web design business
- More immediately, I need to start incorporating ebay sales into my life on a monthly or weekly basis, to bring in some money that I can pay off bills with.
- Continue with the freebie blog I started (a 3-4x per week commitment), keeping in mind my future goal which is:
- In the next year or two I want to start a video-based tutorial website for Digital Scrapbooking that will bring in revenue on a per-item or subscription basis, plus advertising space potential
Personal Enrichment Goals:
- Continue making time for digital scrapbooking on a regualr basis, it brings me joy
- Keep up on taking care of myself through massage, mani/pedi, etc hopefully on a monthly basis
- Keep up on household chores so that I don't feel bad when things pile up and I don't enjoy my surroundings
- Plan things with my husband for weekends where we get out and do things, at least once a month. Things such as going up to the mountains, getting out for a walk or hike together, going to museums downtown, whatever it might be. While he may not be up to it every weekend, once a month is a good place to start.
Alright so that's what I have! Now that I spell it out, it sounds like a lot. I look forward to her helping me break it down :) Will be back soon to update on how this session goes!
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Quickie
Hey all! Just a quick post to let you know everything is going well. I had a 30 min phone session on Thursday. The main new thing is I need to work harder to write down my food right after I eat it. I usually forget and do it later or at the end of the day. So I am working on that (although, still rather unsuccessfully so far. Sigh.) We also talked about having a two hour appointment after the start of the new year that will be a goal setting session for the year. Sort of takes the place of new years resolutions I guess (which I'm not really into anyway so no biggie there.) She helps you identify your goals for the year and break them down and come up with an action plan. So I am pretty excited about that! That's going to be January 8th.
It's been busy with the holidays, and in just a few short days I will have company for a week. I am just doing my best to stick with all of my goals. I've been doing phenomenally with keeping my schedule, doing my school work and house work, procrastinating less in general. Exercise has been a problem because of this enduring hip pain. I'm definitely going to get a good massage this week and if it still doesn't get better I might try a chriopractor and/or go see a doctor. I don't know why it is SO BAD but it is affecting me 24/7 and I don't like it :( Amazingly enough my feet haven't been hurting as much. Not sure if that's true or if the hip pain is just detracting from it and hogging the attention lol.
Even sleeping at night has been uncomfortable for about two weeks now :( I really think what set it off was a skiing game I was doing for exercise on the wii. But I stopped exercising, and it hasn't healed. :(
Walking I can handle but it's been cold and snowy here. I think this week I need to go to the gym and walk around the track perhaps!!
That's about all from me for right now, will try to update again after Wednesday's phone session! Happy holidays!
It's been busy with the holidays, and in just a few short days I will have company for a week. I am just doing my best to stick with all of my goals. I've been doing phenomenally with keeping my schedule, doing my school work and house work, procrastinating less in general. Exercise has been a problem because of this enduring hip pain. I'm definitely going to get a good massage this week and if it still doesn't get better I might try a chriopractor and/or go see a doctor. I don't know why it is SO BAD but it is affecting me 24/7 and I don't like it :( Amazingly enough my feet haven't been hurting as much. Not sure if that's true or if the hip pain is just detracting from it and hogging the attention lol.
Even sleeping at night has been uncomfortable for about two weeks now :( I really think what set it off was a skiing game I was doing for exercise on the wii. But I stopped exercising, and it hasn't healed. :(
Walking I can handle but it's been cold and snowy here. I think this week I need to go to the gym and walk around the track perhaps!!
That's about all from me for right now, will try to update again after Wednesday's phone session! Happy holidays!
Monday, December 21, 2009
5th Appointment
OK so I'm getting to this a little sooner this time!! Yay! My appointment on Friday went pretty well. At this appointment we delved a little bit more into my food journal. At this point she wants me to take it even further into not just what I am eating but how I feel before, after, how foods affect me, what fills me more, what leaves me hungry sooner, how it may alter my mood, and reasons why I might eat. Up to this point I've really only manage to make a note if I felt overly full or if I ate emotionally.
I have to say this is hard for me! I sit there like... um... I don't know... I have no idea what to write. So, I'm trying. I guess I am pretty out of touch with this stuff, but that's the whole point right, to get more in tune with my body's true needs. It's just hard trying to think of something to say about every food choice. But I am working on it.
Here is my day yesterday as an example.
11:15am
Two eggs scrambled with ham, cheese and onions
3 strips bacon
Water, small cup apple juice
Before breakfast I felt hungry, but not starving... I wanted to have some bacon because it's been a while... and wanted to eat the same sort of high protein breakfast that worked for me last time. When we normally make Sunday breakfast I would have had two eggs over easy on two pieces of toast along with the bacon and potatoes. I experimented by eliminating those carbs from the breakfast. I also decided to have 3 strips of bacon and we only cooked what we decided to eat. Normally we just make half the package and I might eat 4-5 strips of bacon. I don't need that many to be satisfied.
After breakfast I felt extremely satisfied. I could not tell right away if I was full, but about an hour later I could feel it. I was not overstuffed but maybe slightly more full than comfortable. It's so hard to tell when I don't feel it for that length of time.
2:00pm Starbucks- Grande peppermint mocha frappucino
My decision to get Starbucks was half due to desire and half due to the headache I was sporting, and knowing how much it would help. I think getting a grande was a mistake because I had a very upset stomach after I finished it. It wasn't because of fullness but maybe just too much coffee, or too much sugar? I'm not sure. Will stick to talls (smalls) from now on, unless it's iced tea.
I definitely enjoyed my drink, took my time with it and appreciated it... very delicious.
6:00pm - TGI Friday's
1/2 fried green beans appetizer
grilled chicken breast and shrimp (5 shrimp, small)
mashed potatoes
part of an ice cream/cookie dessert
berry mojito (probably 20 oz)
2 waters
Before dinner I was very hungry and I should have had a snack but I knew we were meeting our friends for dinner so I waited. However I feel like I did great with dinner. They had the three-for-all where you get appetizer, entree, dessert for 12.99 ... In the past we would both order that but this time only he did and we split the appetizer and dessert, so I had about half his appetizer, my own entree, and less than half of the dessert when I got full. I also had an alcoholic drink which is pretty rare for me, but since our friends did I went ahead and did too and I really enjoyed the one I ordered. It made me tired after which it usually does so I wish I hadn't drank it, but I did enjoy it. I stopped when I was full, despite how tasty the dessert was... and I felt very satisfied by the meal and glad that I wasn't overstuffed.
11:00pm
crackers and dip
ginger ale
We had gone to a movie after dinner and by the time we got home I felt hungry again. The dip is something left over from a Christmas party on friday and I don't know what it is exactly but it's a thick hearty dip that's really good. I had a couple tablespoons of it on some crackers. It satisfied my hunger really well. I stayed up another couple of hours before I went to bed .
I emailed this to Dr. Kate this morning to see if I was doing what she thought I should be doing... I feel like I am grasping at straws when I'm trying to figure out what to put down. This was her response:
I have to say this is hard for me! I sit there like... um... I don't know... I have no idea what to write. So, I'm trying. I guess I am pretty out of touch with this stuff, but that's the whole point right, to get more in tune with my body's true needs. It's just hard trying to think of something to say about every food choice. But I am working on it.
Here is my day yesterday as an example.
11:15am
Two eggs scrambled with ham, cheese and onions
3 strips bacon
Water, small cup apple juice
Before breakfast I felt hungry, but not starving... I wanted to have some bacon because it's been a while... and wanted to eat the same sort of high protein breakfast that worked for me last time. When we normally make Sunday breakfast I would have had two eggs over easy on two pieces of toast along with the bacon and potatoes. I experimented by eliminating those carbs from the breakfast. I also decided to have 3 strips of bacon and we only cooked what we decided to eat. Normally we just make half the package and I might eat 4-5 strips of bacon. I don't need that many to be satisfied.
After breakfast I felt extremely satisfied. I could not tell right away if I was full, but about an hour later I could feel it. I was not overstuffed but maybe slightly more full than comfortable. It's so hard to tell when I don't feel it for that length of time.
2:00pm Starbucks- Grande peppermint mocha frappucino
My decision to get Starbucks was half due to desire and half due to the headache I was sporting, and knowing how much it would help. I think getting a grande was a mistake because I had a very upset stomach after I finished it. It wasn't because of fullness but maybe just too much coffee, or too much sugar? I'm not sure. Will stick to talls (smalls) from now on, unless it's iced tea.
I definitely enjoyed my drink, took my time with it and appreciated it... very delicious.
6:00pm - TGI Friday's
1/2 fried green beans appetizer
grilled chicken breast and shrimp (5 shrimp, small)
mashed potatoes
part of an ice cream/cookie dessert
berry mojito (probably 20 oz)
2 waters
Before dinner I was very hungry and I should have had a snack but I knew we were meeting our friends for dinner so I waited. However I feel like I did great with dinner. They had the three-for-all where you get appetizer, entree, dessert for 12.99 ... In the past we would both order that but this time only he did and we split the appetizer and dessert, so I had about half his appetizer, my own entree, and less than half of the dessert when I got full. I also had an alcoholic drink which is pretty rare for me, but since our friends did I went ahead and did too and I really enjoyed the one I ordered. It made me tired after which it usually does so I wish I hadn't drank it, but I did enjoy it. I stopped when I was full, despite how tasty the dessert was... and I felt very satisfied by the meal and glad that I wasn't overstuffed.
11:00pm
crackers and dip
ginger ale
We had gone to a movie after dinner and by the time we got home I felt hungry again. The dip is something left over from a Christmas party on friday and I don't know what it is exactly but it's a thick hearty dip that's really good. I had a couple tablespoons of it on some crackers. It satisfied my hunger really well. I stayed up another couple of hours before I went to bed .
I emailed this to Dr. Kate this morning to see if I was doing what she thought I should be doing... I feel like I am grasping at straws when I'm trying to figure out what to put down. This was her response:
Hi Christie!
The question is, is your food journal giving you insights about how food is making you feel? Are you learning more about the type and amount of food that makes you feel your best? Are you discovering the reasons why you eat? Are you starting to make "healthier choices"? It seems that way to me:-) I'd suggest that you keep this up the rest of the week, and I look forward to talking with you Thursday morning about it!
The question is, is your food journal giving you insights about how food is making you feel? Are you learning more about the type and amount of food that makes you feel your best? Are you discovering the reasons why you eat? Are you starting to make "healthier choices"? It seems that way to me:-) I'd suggest that you keep this up the rest of the week, and I look forward to talking with you Thursday morning about it!
Dr. Kate
That made me feel a bit better that I guess I AM "getting it". I just didn't want to be missing the point and not doing what would help me. So I will just keep at it and see what happens.
In this last session we talked more about nutritional choices and how they affect the body. While by no means does she expect me to eliminate carbs, after all she is against diets and wants me to eat what I truly want. However I am supposed to be noticing how foods affect me and I have noticed something major when it comes to carbs.
A couple of days last week I had a breakfast that was high in protein, and had a good amount of fat also... and much lower in carbs. This was an omlette with cheese, ham, and onions, with some vegetarian sausage patties made mostly from soy product.
It kept me full for an extremely long time for me, about 7 hours, which is unheard of. I tend to be hungry every 2-3 hours. I "could have eaten" sooner than that but didn't feel hungry enough to need to.
This is a stark contrast to when we typically do our weekend breakfast with eggs, bacon, toast and potatoes, which adds up to a bigger plate of food but doesn't keep me full usually any more than 3 hours.
On Sunday we made breakfast and this time it included bacon (yummm) but I told Ian I didn't want any toast or potatoes. So I made my eggs with the ham, cheese, and onion, and had 3 strips of bacon. Dinner was 7 hours later, with only a coffee drink in between.
Now I'm not saying it is my goal to go 7 hours between meals. I know eating frequently is a good thing... but not when you are eating good sized meals frequently! They need to be smaller.
We talked a lot about how the body uses carbs versus how it uses proteins. I told her I've always known protein kept me more full and satisfied but it didn't seem to always work. Here's what I found out - fat is the key to that. High protein, low carb, with FATS... keeps me full... but high protein, low carb, low fat does NOT. She said eating the fats with the protein, it is much more likely my body will use the fat instead of storing it, whereas with carbs, the fat gets stored quickly, and it also triggers you to want to eat more.
I have to say I found that this is true. When I snack on crackers, pretzels, chips, I just want to keep eating forever. If I snack with more protein, I get a lot more satisfaction.
I am not sure how I will apply all of this without it being a diet plan. I guess it is just a matter of working toward that intuitive state. Making the choice because it will satisfy me on a deeper level. So while I may think "i want chips, that will make me happy, and that's ok so I'll eat chips"... that's not the same true satisfaction as "that high protein option felt so satisfying, and I'm truly full now." So it's just a matter of working toward that.
This is going to take some time. Oh yes...
With the holidays this week and my dear friend Raina AKA Marshy visiting from New Zealand next week, we have broken down our next therapy appointment into two half-hour phone sessions. One will be this Thursday morning (Christmas Eve), and one the following week on the 30th (as Raina arrives the 31st.)
Will do my best to update right away next time!! Eventually I will start posting in between therapy sessions also... I'm working at trying to be more proactive about this!
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Therapy Update Week Four
Hey all! So I always intend to update right after my appointment, but somehow I always find myself almost to the next one before I get around to it. Oops!
Last week's appointment went pretty well... but I have to say my emotions were ALL over the place!!
First the good stuff.... which is, I made a LOT of improvement that she congratulated me for. The entire week I stuck to my schedule with school work, exercise, etc... kept my food journal... everything went really well.
There was even one day where I had some obstacles to overcome and I managed to do so.
It was Thursday of last week. It was around 8:30am and I was on my computer, having my hour of computer time before starting school work... and I got this email from my mom that needed to be addressed, so I called her to talk...the call ended up lasting OVER two and a half hours!!! It was good and we worked through some stuff, but when it was done I was starving... cranky... exhausted... drained... had a headache. Generally feeling very blah.
On top of that, my left hip was hurting. (It's been hurting a lot since I started exercising again. I think it has to do with my back and it's lack of strength.) It was hurting especially bad.
So I was sitting there feeling like I already KNEW what my day was going to be like... I'd eat lunch, start watching TV, want to stay lazy since I was feeling so drained, and I would end up not accomplishing anything.
I decided to let myself rest, guilt free, for a couple of hours and then try to get back on track. Deep down though I figured I would end up not doing anything.
Surprisingly, a couple hours later I felt refreshed and ready to tackle my school work. I did so well that not only did I accomplish THAT day's work, but the whole next day's work too! I finished my two classes and took both finals!!! I was totally caught up and feeling great. I decided to skip the workout because of how much my hip hurt, and I didn't regret it one bit. I felt it was the right choice not to push it. I ended my day feeling very accomplished.
The next day was my therapy and I was thrilled to report to her that I didn't even have school work that day, because I had finished it all a day early. She seemed proud of my accomplishments and I was feeling pretty good.
Let's see.... as for this week so far, it is going pretty well. I've had a couple of workouts with the Wii fit.... but the hip pain is really a hinderance right now. It is even hurting me when I'm sleeping at night. I hope my back isn't getting worse again because the last time I was having hip pain, that was the reason. If it doesn't let up after I've been more active a few more weeks, I guess it will be time to see the doc again and possibly do some more physical therapy. I just hope not because my current insurance won't cover nearly as much as my old insurance did.
Monday was another very atypical day for me where I still managed to get things done. Ian stayed home from work which totally threw me off, because I ended up sleeping in with him 2 hours late. Also, my new computer arrived finally!!! And we set it all up. AND I had lunch plans with my sister in law.
Unbelievably... I managed a workout before lunch... and got straight to my school work when I got home, and got my two lessons done.
I guess this schedule thing is really starting to stick. It's starting to feel like my day isn't going right if I don't get these things done... and that's great. It means I don't always have to stick to the exact order of things because I will learn to work around things and make sure I get everything done.
On the flip side of that, I can also take my own mental health day sometimes :-D And that is exactly what I did yesterday! I just said, today is for me... and I spent the day updating pics, blogging, setting more things up with my new computer... just had a really fun and relaxing day overall.
Today I'm right back in the saddle.... I have a HUGE to-do list and just crossing things off one by one. I did my school work, got our Christmas cards ready (just have to sent them to Costco's print center), addressed all the envelopes... and got this monstrous blog entry done!!! :) Whew. I still have much more to do today including a workout, grocery shopping, wrapping some presents, etc. But I am doing GREAT!
Last week's appointment went pretty well... but I have to say my emotions were ALL over the place!!
First the good stuff.... which is, I made a LOT of improvement that she congratulated me for. The entire week I stuck to my schedule with school work, exercise, etc... kept my food journal... everything went really well.
There was even one day where I had some obstacles to overcome and I managed to do so.
It was Thursday of last week. It was around 8:30am and I was on my computer, having my hour of computer time before starting school work... and I got this email from my mom that needed to be addressed, so I called her to talk...the call ended up lasting OVER two and a half hours!!! It was good and we worked through some stuff, but when it was done I was starving... cranky... exhausted... drained... had a headache. Generally feeling very blah.
On top of that, my left hip was hurting. (It's been hurting a lot since I started exercising again. I think it has to do with my back and it's lack of strength.) It was hurting especially bad.
So I was sitting there feeling like I already KNEW what my day was going to be like... I'd eat lunch, start watching TV, want to stay lazy since I was feeling so drained, and I would end up not accomplishing anything.
I decided to let myself rest, guilt free, for a couple of hours and then try to get back on track. Deep down though I figured I would end up not doing anything.
Surprisingly, a couple hours later I felt refreshed and ready to tackle my school work. I did so well that not only did I accomplish THAT day's work, but the whole next day's work too! I finished my two classes and took both finals!!! I was totally caught up and feeling great. I decided to skip the workout because of how much my hip hurt, and I didn't regret it one bit. I felt it was the right choice not to push it. I ended my day feeling very accomplished.
The next day was my therapy and I was thrilled to report to her that I didn't even have school work that day, because I had finished it all a day early. She seemed proud of my accomplishments and I was feeling pretty good.
Let's see.... as for this week so far, it is going pretty well. I've had a couple of workouts with the Wii fit.... but the hip pain is really a hinderance right now. It is even hurting me when I'm sleeping at night. I hope my back isn't getting worse again because the last time I was having hip pain, that was the reason. If it doesn't let up after I've been more active a few more weeks, I guess it will be time to see the doc again and possibly do some more physical therapy. I just hope not because my current insurance won't cover nearly as much as my old insurance did.
Monday was another very atypical day for me where I still managed to get things done. Ian stayed home from work which totally threw me off, because I ended up sleeping in with him 2 hours late. Also, my new computer arrived finally!!! And we set it all up. AND I had lunch plans with my sister in law.
Unbelievably... I managed a workout before lunch... and got straight to my school work when I got home, and got my two lessons done.
I guess this schedule thing is really starting to stick. It's starting to feel like my day isn't going right if I don't get these things done... and that's great. It means I don't always have to stick to the exact order of things because I will learn to work around things and make sure I get everything done.
On the flip side of that, I can also take my own mental health day sometimes :-D And that is exactly what I did yesterday! I just said, today is for me... and I spent the day updating pics, blogging, setting more things up with my new computer... just had a really fun and relaxing day overall.
Today I'm right back in the saddle.... I have a HUGE to-do list and just crossing things off one by one. I did my school work, got our Christmas cards ready (just have to sent them to Costco's print center), addressed all the envelopes... and got this monstrous blog entry done!!! :) Whew. I still have much more to do today including a workout, grocery shopping, wrapping some presents, etc. But I am doing GREAT!
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
3rd Week in Therapy
So I have been in therapy for two and a half weeks now. So far so good!! Last week didn't go very well for me. I kept up with my food journal, and worked on some of the self care items, including getting a pedicure and looking up church services where I could go and sing (although I haven't tried going yet. I am really hoping to find a weeknight service instead of Sunday, but no luck yet.)
However, when it came to exercise, I didn't get any. Since I sprained my ankle Monday, the next few days it was too sore for me to work out. By the time it got better, my therapy week was over.
Also, when it came to school work and recreation time - the whole "organizing my time" assignment, I really didn't do well.
My appointment was changed back to Friday and I requested that it be a phone appointment... see, I was ready to get back on track and I needed to do a marathon homework day on Friday to help me catch up. I needed to do SIX school lessons, which is a week and a half of work, in one day. I knew if I spent 3 hours going to therapy, the odds would be I couldn't get that accomplished. She agreed so we did my one hour appointment over the phone which left me the rest of the day.
I'm happy to say I DID get my six lessons done on Friday!!! It basically took me the entire day other than meals and my phone appointment. Which unfortunately - again - left no workout time and I was exhausted after. But I felt great because I accomplished my goal, plus quite a few things around the house that I needed to do like dishes, laundry, and making dinner!
THE APPOINTMENT:
So here is what we discussed on Friday. I basically had to tell her that I didn't accomplish any of the assignments she had given me... other than getting a pedicure. I felt pretty bad... I felt like I "wasted" my week. She was so great though... she assured me that a resistance to change is normal, and I shouldn't feel guilty about it.... and that I had already taken a big step to get back on track by making the most of Friday.
She strikes a great balance because while she did ease my guilt over last week, she was also very firm in telling me that I need to take responsibility for my actions this week and truly commit to trying the things we have talked about.
She said I am stuck in a cycle, much like a mouse on a wheel. I go through feeling lazy and unaccomplished and wanting to get better at how I use my time and accomplishing my goals... and then I go to the extreme and sort of wear myself out, then I get back to being lazy and over and over again I go through this same cycle. I need to have a schedule and learn to stick to it. Much like almost everything else "intuitive" (eating, self-care, etc) I need to start out by paying a lot of attention to this and commiting to stick with it, but in the future I can be much more flexible with it and I won't have to think about it nearly as much.
She wants me to commit to our time schedule plan for three weeks without straying from it, because that is supposedly the length of time it takes to create a habit. Three weeks seems like suuuuch a long time to me right now, but hey, I have two very successful days under my belt so I guess I am on my way.
The basic schedule I am following right now is spending my first hour awake doing the things I enjoy and like to start my day with... this is writing snail mail to my friends back home, checking emails, checking in on facebook, and looking at photos on Flickr. I am to limit this to 30-60 minutes.
Then I grab my breakfast, bring it up to my desk and start working on school work. Once I am caught up this will only be 1-2 hours per day, but right now it is much more since I'm behind. My current classes end this coming Friday, so after that I am starting fresh and won't be behind anymore as long as I stay on schedule.
After my classwork is complete I can choose to either have some recreation time (tv,internet,etc) while I eat lunch and for a couple hours after.... then do my workout. Or, reverse that... do my workout, then eat lunch and have recreation time.
This recreation time is my "unstructured" recreation time... tv/internet mindlessness stuff. The other thing I need to work in is spending time with 'productive' recreation time - working on my hobbies like digital scrapbooking and photography... and of course, blogging! I have a tendency to just stick with the mindlessness activities because I just get lazy. Laziness is my BIGGEST problem and it affects everything... so this is something I am working on. I need to spend more time on my hobbies. I enjoy them, so why don't I spend time on them??? No reason except for laziness.
I am also working on dedicating time each day to regular chores like dishes, laundry, cleaning and straightening, etc... as well as crossing miscellaneous items off my to do list.
Right now the only part we have "scheduled" is the hour of recreation time in the morning, followed by school work, followed by a workout. The rest I am just doing my best to start incorporating also, as part of working on my self-care.
THIS WEEK SO FAR:
The weekend is less structured since I do school during the week like a regular work week. But this weekend I managed to do several productive things like laundry, grocery shopping, and cooking meals, so I feel really good about that.
Yesterday (Monday) was my first "scheduled" day and I think I did really well.
After my hour of 'fun' in the morning, I got straight to work and stayed focused. I managed to have three school lessons completed by lunch time.
I had my lunch and watched my shows from sunday night, trying to let my food settle. Unfortunately by the time my food settled I felt really tired so I took a nap, and when I got up I had no desire to work out. But I managed to make several phone calls I'd been putting off, and get most of the work done on our calendars for Christmas, so it was definitely a successful day.
Today (Tuesday) was even better - even though I woke up with a MIGRAINE! UGH! I felt so so so crappy. So I got up slowly, took a long hot shower, and had breakfast with a big dose of Excedrin. Then I spent my recreational hour, and by the time I was done with that my head felt much better. It took me longer than usual, but I managed to still get all three school lessons completed! I took a break in the middle for lunch with Ian (he works from home on Tuesdays.)
I wasn't finished with school until about 3pm... but I did it. My stomach didn't feel settled yet, so I finished up our calendars... and at 4pm I did my 30 minute workout! I am stunned I managed to do a workout on a day I woke up with a migraine.
And now I'm blogging... and when I'm done, I'm going to catch up on my photos. All in all a 100% successful day. I have also had a great eating day :)
I may have lost some time but I feel like I am making a lot of progress right now. All in all great feelings. I'm going to keep working on making each day a great on-schedule day and my next appointment is this Friday at 12 :) Hopefully this weekend I will be able to blog again... and next week I will be feeling free because I will have finished the two classes that I got so behind on, and I will be in two new classes. They actually start tomorrow but I won't be starting them til Monday since I am already behind. But next week's workload will be quite a bit lighter. :)
I just love Dr. Kate. She is really supportive and I feel like she REALLY understands me and addresses my problems the right way. She knows I need constructive criticism instead of tough love... she frees me from guilt yet is firm about my taking responsibility for my actions. She is treating me as a whole, instead of just trying ti 'fix' one part of me. This may take a while, but I have NEVER felt so positive about improving my life!
However, when it came to exercise, I didn't get any. Since I sprained my ankle Monday, the next few days it was too sore for me to work out. By the time it got better, my therapy week was over.
Also, when it came to school work and recreation time - the whole "organizing my time" assignment, I really didn't do well.
My appointment was changed back to Friday and I requested that it be a phone appointment... see, I was ready to get back on track and I needed to do a marathon homework day on Friday to help me catch up. I needed to do SIX school lessons, which is a week and a half of work, in one day. I knew if I spent 3 hours going to therapy, the odds would be I couldn't get that accomplished. She agreed so we did my one hour appointment over the phone which left me the rest of the day.
I'm happy to say I DID get my six lessons done on Friday!!! It basically took me the entire day other than meals and my phone appointment. Which unfortunately - again - left no workout time and I was exhausted after. But I felt great because I accomplished my goal, plus quite a few things around the house that I needed to do like dishes, laundry, and making dinner!
THE APPOINTMENT:
So here is what we discussed on Friday. I basically had to tell her that I didn't accomplish any of the assignments she had given me... other than getting a pedicure. I felt pretty bad... I felt like I "wasted" my week. She was so great though... she assured me that a resistance to change is normal, and I shouldn't feel guilty about it.... and that I had already taken a big step to get back on track by making the most of Friday.
She strikes a great balance because while she did ease my guilt over last week, she was also very firm in telling me that I need to take responsibility for my actions this week and truly commit to trying the things we have talked about.
She said I am stuck in a cycle, much like a mouse on a wheel. I go through feeling lazy and unaccomplished and wanting to get better at how I use my time and accomplishing my goals... and then I go to the extreme and sort of wear myself out, then I get back to being lazy and over and over again I go through this same cycle. I need to have a schedule and learn to stick to it. Much like almost everything else "intuitive" (eating, self-care, etc) I need to start out by paying a lot of attention to this and commiting to stick with it, but in the future I can be much more flexible with it and I won't have to think about it nearly as much.
She wants me to commit to our time schedule plan for three weeks without straying from it, because that is supposedly the length of time it takes to create a habit. Three weeks seems like suuuuch a long time to me right now, but hey, I have two very successful days under my belt so I guess I am on my way.
The basic schedule I am following right now is spending my first hour awake doing the things I enjoy and like to start my day with... this is writing snail mail to my friends back home, checking emails, checking in on facebook, and looking at photos on Flickr. I am to limit this to 30-60 minutes.
Then I grab my breakfast, bring it up to my desk and start working on school work. Once I am caught up this will only be 1-2 hours per day, but right now it is much more since I'm behind. My current classes end this coming Friday, so after that I am starting fresh and won't be behind anymore as long as I stay on schedule.
After my classwork is complete I can choose to either have some recreation time (tv,internet,etc) while I eat lunch and for a couple hours after.... then do my workout. Or, reverse that... do my workout, then eat lunch and have recreation time.
This recreation time is my "unstructured" recreation time... tv/internet mindlessness stuff. The other thing I need to work in is spending time with 'productive' recreation time - working on my hobbies like digital scrapbooking and photography... and of course, blogging! I have a tendency to just stick with the mindlessness activities because I just get lazy. Laziness is my BIGGEST problem and it affects everything... so this is something I am working on. I need to spend more time on my hobbies. I enjoy them, so why don't I spend time on them??? No reason except for laziness.
I am also working on dedicating time each day to regular chores like dishes, laundry, cleaning and straightening, etc... as well as crossing miscellaneous items off my to do list.
Right now the only part we have "scheduled" is the hour of recreation time in the morning, followed by school work, followed by a workout. The rest I am just doing my best to start incorporating also, as part of working on my self-care.
THIS WEEK SO FAR:
The weekend is less structured since I do school during the week like a regular work week. But this weekend I managed to do several productive things like laundry, grocery shopping, and cooking meals, so I feel really good about that.
Yesterday (Monday) was my first "scheduled" day and I think I did really well.
After my hour of 'fun' in the morning, I got straight to work and stayed focused. I managed to have three school lessons completed by lunch time.
I had my lunch and watched my shows from sunday night, trying to let my food settle. Unfortunately by the time my food settled I felt really tired so I took a nap, and when I got up I had no desire to work out. But I managed to make several phone calls I'd been putting off, and get most of the work done on our calendars for Christmas, so it was definitely a successful day.
Today (Tuesday) was even better - even though I woke up with a MIGRAINE! UGH! I felt so so so crappy. So I got up slowly, took a long hot shower, and had breakfast with a big dose of Excedrin. Then I spent my recreational hour, and by the time I was done with that my head felt much better. It took me longer than usual, but I managed to still get all three school lessons completed! I took a break in the middle for lunch with Ian (he works from home on Tuesdays.)
I wasn't finished with school until about 3pm... but I did it. My stomach didn't feel settled yet, so I finished up our calendars... and at 4pm I did my 30 minute workout! I am stunned I managed to do a workout on a day I woke up with a migraine.
And now I'm blogging... and when I'm done, I'm going to catch up on my photos. All in all a 100% successful day. I have also had a great eating day :)
I may have lost some time but I feel like I am making a lot of progress right now. All in all great feelings. I'm going to keep working on making each day a great on-schedule day and my next appointment is this Friday at 12 :) Hopefully this weekend I will be able to blog again... and next week I will be feeling free because I will have finished the two classes that I got so behind on, and I will be in two new classes. They actually start tomorrow but I won't be starting them til Monday since I am already behind. But next week's workload will be quite a bit lighter. :)
I just love Dr. Kate. She is really supportive and I feel like she REALLY understands me and addresses my problems the right way. She knows I need constructive criticism instead of tough love... she frees me from guilt yet is firm about my taking responsibility for my actions. She is treating me as a whole, instead of just trying ti 'fix' one part of me. This may take a while, but I have NEVER felt so positive about improving my life!
Monday, November 30, 2009
First Week in Therapy
I didn't blog sooner because there wasn't that much to say about the first appointment I had. It was two hours long, but it was mostly about her getting to know me and my history. She was pretty impressed at all the work I put into getting ready for the appointment. We pretty much spent the session going through all of those points and talking about them. I had a good first impression of 'Dr. Kate' and I felt pretty confident she would be able to help me... I just didn't have a whole lot to share since I did most of the talking in the first session.
My homework for the first week was pretty simple. She wanted to me to keep a food journal, but to try and do so without trying to change anything I ate, and she wanted me to try very hard to stay in a non-judgmental place of observation. She didn't want me feeling guilty or assigning 'good' and 'bad' to what I ate.
This turned out to be easier than I thought. I didn't have to measure foods or count calories or points, just write down generally what I ate, what time, and any feelings I may have had.
I had one bad day - that Monday. It was the first day of period week and I was extra hungry, so I found myself eating and eating... but then even once I was no longer hungry, it seemed to turn into a food fest for me. I just kept munching all day long and I felt myself feeling really crappy afterward. Very lethargic and most of all guilty for having been so out of control.
I struggled with 'admitting' all of this in my food journal. It's funny, in the past when food journaling on Weight Watchers, there were times I'd omit things even though no one was ever going to see it besides me. Here I am actually going to show the journal to her, and I actually managed to write down every single thing I had eaten, and how out of control I had felt. Miraculously, I think it actually helped me... because in the past that would have turned into 2-3 days of the same behavior, but this time it stopped after one day and I had a pretty good week of normal eating.
Besides the food journal and being aware of any emotional eating, the other homework I had for my first week was to come up with at least 5 "self-care items"... see, she doesn't only focus on Intuitive Eating... she includes that as a part of Intuitive Self Care. I really like that she is trying to help me improve all areas of my life because I know that all areas of my life have something to do with my health. I obviously have plenty of emotional issues and food is how I deal with them.
I had a harder time coming up with self care items than I thought I would. Part of the problem is a lot of the things I thought of cost too much for me to do them on a weekly or monthly basis... like pedicures and massages. I still put them on the list but without any sort of regular timing. I will probably get a pedicure this coming week with a friend, but it may be 2 months before I get another one. (I haven't gotten one since before my wedding six months ago!) I put massage on the list, but I'm planning to get one at the massage school clinic so that it will be cheaper and I won't expect as much. I'm so picky about massages since I am a massage therapist myself, and I haven't been completely happy with any of the massages I've gotten, even when I've paid a LOT.
The third item on my list was "make more time for digital scrapbooking." Even though I have plenty of TIME to scrapbook, I just don't do it very often. I get into a lazy mode where all I want to do is 'veg' and I don't want to put any energy into anything. Thus the lack of blogging, keeping up on photos, scrapbooking, whatever it may be. Lately my scrapbooking track record is once a month or even less... for something I actually enjoy doing! Why is that? So I really need to start making some creative time for that.
The fourth item on my list was "find somewhere to sing with a group." I was in choir in high school and it was such a great thing for me. I also used to love singing at church. I haven't done either of these things in so long. I haven't even been to a church since I moved here almost four years ago. I don't really know where I stand with my faith and that's one thing that has kept me from going. I felt like going just to enjoy the music was blasphemy or something. I also haven't tried to join any choirs since I can't site read. In high school the choir director would sing each part and I'd learn by ear... but when I tried to join in college, that didn't happen and so I was completely lost trying to learn my part.
I didn't have a 5th item on my list when I went, but after the fact I realized making time for my blogging and pictures should be #5.
So... now for the 2nd appointment, which was on Black Friday. Ian took me since he had the day off and that was really nice to have his company on the drive. He did meet Dr Kate, but he didn't join the session. She said she'd love to have some couples sessions with us in the future but this was only our 2nd one so we had plenty to work on without him.
Anyway, she asked me to tell her about my week. I asked if she wanted to see the food journal and she said I didn't have to share. But I wanted to so she gladly looked it over. We talked about the out of control eating the one day and how I felt about it.
We talked about things that had happened with my best friend... the bad stuff from a couple weeks ago, but also the really good stuff that happened this week, which was that Sarah was incredibly supportive. I totally admitted to her about my Monday and how bad it was, and she made me feel so much better. She said it's a process, and there's going to be hard times but she is going to be there for me through all of it.
Let's see.... as for my self-care list, she thought everything I came up with was great. She especially liked the singing idea. I told her I hadn't gone after it because I wasn't sure if it was really ok to go to church just to sing. But she said spirituality comes in many different forms, and it's something I have to figure out for myself, and that if singing and worship makes me feel good and nourishes my soul, then it's definitely something I should pursue. I see her point and when I told Ian that, he instantly agreed... which really surprised me because he's so anti-organized-religion... but he totally thinks I should go if it would make me happy to sing like that. So I guess I will start looking into it! I feel more excited about it now and I really miss singing on a regular basis.
As for the things on my list that I have to "make time for"... this brought up a whole conversation about organizing and structuring my time. I think this is a really important area for me. Ever since I stopped working last year, my time has been very unstructured. At first I loved the feeling of freedom that came along with that. Being able to do what I wanted, when I wanted.. it's not something we often get to do in our adult lives. But now that I've settled into it, I've found that I'm really not making good USE of my time anymore. I have enough time to do school and to keep up on hobbies, and exercise, and whatever else... but I find myself just in this zombie state half the time where I feel lazy and just don't want to do anything. I know a lot of that is lack of energy from my weight, and my sleep apnea... but I need to try to change that.
She said I really need to find a way to structure my time.. not necessarily by the hour, or planning out what is on certain days... but just experimenting with different things and figuring out what works best for me. For example do I want to do school work an hour or two a day, or like 6 hours a couple days a week. When do I want to make time for my scrapbooking. What time of day works best for me to exercise. I am supposed to experiment with all of this stuff this week and try to see what works best for me. I don't even know if I'll HAVE time to scrapbook this week because there is so much I want to get done around the house while Ian is in Boston... but I am sure going to try.
OK I feel like I am really rambling here so I better wrap this up... but basically that's a lot of what we talked about the first couple of weeks and what I am working on. This week my appointment is on Thursday so I will report back again after that!
My homework for the first week was pretty simple. She wanted to me to keep a food journal, but to try and do so without trying to change anything I ate, and she wanted me to try very hard to stay in a non-judgmental place of observation. She didn't want me feeling guilty or assigning 'good' and 'bad' to what I ate.
This turned out to be easier than I thought. I didn't have to measure foods or count calories or points, just write down generally what I ate, what time, and any feelings I may have had.
I had one bad day - that Monday. It was the first day of period week and I was extra hungry, so I found myself eating and eating... but then even once I was no longer hungry, it seemed to turn into a food fest for me. I just kept munching all day long and I felt myself feeling really crappy afterward. Very lethargic and most of all guilty for having been so out of control.
I struggled with 'admitting' all of this in my food journal. It's funny, in the past when food journaling on Weight Watchers, there were times I'd omit things even though no one was ever going to see it besides me. Here I am actually going to show the journal to her, and I actually managed to write down every single thing I had eaten, and how out of control I had felt. Miraculously, I think it actually helped me... because in the past that would have turned into 2-3 days of the same behavior, but this time it stopped after one day and I had a pretty good week of normal eating.
Besides the food journal and being aware of any emotional eating, the other homework I had for my first week was to come up with at least 5 "self-care items"... see, she doesn't only focus on Intuitive Eating... she includes that as a part of Intuitive Self Care. I really like that she is trying to help me improve all areas of my life because I know that all areas of my life have something to do with my health. I obviously have plenty of emotional issues and food is how I deal with them.
I had a harder time coming up with self care items than I thought I would. Part of the problem is a lot of the things I thought of cost too much for me to do them on a weekly or monthly basis... like pedicures and massages. I still put them on the list but without any sort of regular timing. I will probably get a pedicure this coming week with a friend, but it may be 2 months before I get another one. (I haven't gotten one since before my wedding six months ago!) I put massage on the list, but I'm planning to get one at the massage school clinic so that it will be cheaper and I won't expect as much. I'm so picky about massages since I am a massage therapist myself, and I haven't been completely happy with any of the massages I've gotten, even when I've paid a LOT.
The third item on my list was "make more time for digital scrapbooking." Even though I have plenty of TIME to scrapbook, I just don't do it very often. I get into a lazy mode where all I want to do is 'veg' and I don't want to put any energy into anything. Thus the lack of blogging, keeping up on photos, scrapbooking, whatever it may be. Lately my scrapbooking track record is once a month or even less... for something I actually enjoy doing! Why is that? So I really need to start making some creative time for that.
The fourth item on my list was "find somewhere to sing with a group." I was in choir in high school and it was such a great thing for me. I also used to love singing at church. I haven't done either of these things in so long. I haven't even been to a church since I moved here almost four years ago. I don't really know where I stand with my faith and that's one thing that has kept me from going. I felt like going just to enjoy the music was blasphemy or something. I also haven't tried to join any choirs since I can't site read. In high school the choir director would sing each part and I'd learn by ear... but when I tried to join in college, that didn't happen and so I was completely lost trying to learn my part.
I didn't have a 5th item on my list when I went, but after the fact I realized making time for my blogging and pictures should be #5.
So... now for the 2nd appointment, which was on Black Friday. Ian took me since he had the day off and that was really nice to have his company on the drive. He did meet Dr Kate, but he didn't join the session. She said she'd love to have some couples sessions with us in the future but this was only our 2nd one so we had plenty to work on without him.
Anyway, she asked me to tell her about my week. I asked if she wanted to see the food journal and she said I didn't have to share. But I wanted to so she gladly looked it over. We talked about the out of control eating the one day and how I felt about it.
We talked about things that had happened with my best friend... the bad stuff from a couple weeks ago, but also the really good stuff that happened this week, which was that Sarah was incredibly supportive. I totally admitted to her about my Monday and how bad it was, and she made me feel so much better. She said it's a process, and there's going to be hard times but she is going to be there for me through all of it.
Let's see.... as for my self-care list, she thought everything I came up with was great. She especially liked the singing idea. I told her I hadn't gone after it because I wasn't sure if it was really ok to go to church just to sing. But she said spirituality comes in many different forms, and it's something I have to figure out for myself, and that if singing and worship makes me feel good and nourishes my soul, then it's definitely something I should pursue. I see her point and when I told Ian that, he instantly agreed... which really surprised me because he's so anti-organized-religion... but he totally thinks I should go if it would make me happy to sing like that. So I guess I will start looking into it! I feel more excited about it now and I really miss singing on a regular basis.
As for the things on my list that I have to "make time for"... this brought up a whole conversation about organizing and structuring my time. I think this is a really important area for me. Ever since I stopped working last year, my time has been very unstructured. At first I loved the feeling of freedom that came along with that. Being able to do what I wanted, when I wanted.. it's not something we often get to do in our adult lives. But now that I've settled into it, I've found that I'm really not making good USE of my time anymore. I have enough time to do school and to keep up on hobbies, and exercise, and whatever else... but I find myself just in this zombie state half the time where I feel lazy and just don't want to do anything. I know a lot of that is lack of energy from my weight, and my sleep apnea... but I need to try to change that.
She said I really need to find a way to structure my time.. not necessarily by the hour, or planning out what is on certain days... but just experimenting with different things and figuring out what works best for me. For example do I want to do school work an hour or two a day, or like 6 hours a couple days a week. When do I want to make time for my scrapbooking. What time of day works best for me to exercise. I am supposed to experiment with all of this stuff this week and try to see what works best for me. I don't even know if I'll HAVE time to scrapbook this week because there is so much I want to get done around the house while Ian is in Boston... but I am sure going to try.
OK I feel like I am really rambling here so I better wrap this up... but basically that's a lot of what we talked about the first couple of weeks and what I am working on. This week my appointment is on Thursday so I will report back again after that!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)