Two Years Post Op

Today is May 20th, 2012. I had Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy surgery on May 20th, 2010. It's so hard to believe two years have gone by.

I am not where I would like to be. I had lost 100 pounds by 8 months post op and not much has changed since then. However, I keep at it and keep strengthening.

I need to remember a few things such as: how far I've come (thank you photos), the fact that I haven't gained a bunch of weight back is an accomplishment in and of itself, we are all different, I am not perfect, and I am still the healthiest and smallest I have ever been in my adult life. I made it through the most difficult year of my life and even though I did gain a little weight back, I took most of that off and I'm working out hard and I'm healthier than ever. These are things to celebrate!!!!!

I feel like these lyrics from Tim McGraw's song perfectly sum it up:

I've pinned a lot of demons to the ground 
I've got a few old habits left 
There's one or two I might need you to help me get 
Standin in the rain so long has left me with a little rust 
But put some faith in me 
And someday you'll see 
There's a diamond under all this dust
 
I ain't no angel 
I still got a few more dances with the devil 
I'm cleanin up my act, little by little 
I'm getting there 
I can finally stand the (wo)man in the mirror I see 
I ain't as good as I'm gonna get  
But I'm better than I used to be

Sometimes I get down on myself for not being where I would like. But at the same time, I'm pretty happy where I am and sometimes I just "don't wanna" give anything else up to try to lose more weight. So it's a struggle.... but I have to say, it's nice to be here as well. I am pretty darn happy. The more strength training I do, the better I feel. Right now I'm deciding what the next step is for me in terms of working out. With food I definitely need to focus on protein and give up more carbs. I think right now I'm just in a phase where I don't WANT to give up anything. I feel like I won't, unless I need to battle a gain again. 


Although I haven't lost the 18 pounds I gained (I've lost 9 lbs of it), the switch to strength training accounts for some of that and I'm actually the same size (in the same pants, etc) as I was when weighing 198, even though I weigh 207. So it's not an easy comparison. 


Here is one comparison I do want to share. A photo from over a year ago, at the same weight i am today (and in pretty much the same outfit). I see a difference which tells me weight on the scale isn't everything. Angles aren't exactly the same, but I can tell my face, tummy and arms are all smaller despite being the same weight.

Thank you strength training!


Right now I' trying to decide if I want to do another 30 days of tracking with a 1200 calorie goal (that's how i lost those 8 lbs the first month), or keep not tracking but make the jump from Curves to strength training with a trainer at my gym and trying to be really serious about it. My fears with 1200 calories are I know I can't keep it up and I don't want to deprive my body while strength training - but it seemed to work the first month and I kept that weight off despite upping calories after. My fears with tougher strength training are no weight loss, but more importantly the possibility of really hurting my back. But on the flip side, strength training has really helped my back pain so far. You just never know.


Since I can't decide right now what I want to do next, I'm going to just keep on keepin' on until I know what I want to do. I'm maintaining my weight right now despite being controlled by the carb monster. I definitely need to work on that though, and I would definitely like to lose more!


So anyway, happy 2 year surgaversary to me. I sure with my Mom were here to hug.